The Random Life of Reno
by Mischievious Moogle
Summary: Just some random stories about [almost] everyone's favorite Turk, Reno!
1. Coffee

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7.**

**Reno's Life: Story 1**

Reno smirked as he walked into Tseng's office. Tseng was twitching involuntarily and sweating heavily.

"Hey, boss", Reno said.

Twitch.

Twitch.

"Hello, Reno", replied Tseng, twitching once more.

Elena walked in with Rude, both appearing jittery and nervous. They were twitching and sweating exactly like Tseng.

Twitch.

Twitch.

Twitch.

"Hey, guys", said Reno, trying to repress his laughter.

Elena and Rude glared at the red-headed Turk as he left the office, laughing like a hyena, passing by other employees that were looking frazzled and jumpy.

Reno loved switching the coffee in the lounge to espresso after three weeks of decaf.


	2. Donuts

**Reno's Life: Story 2**

"Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts"

"Stop it!", growled Elena.

"Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up birdie feet"

Elena gave him a warning look, but it didn't stop his singing.

"French fried eyeballs mixed in with baby mush"

The blonde was starting to look a little green.

"I for-got my spoon"

"Reno, I swear, if you keep singing that song, you'll regret it", she struggled to say, looking a deeper shade of green.

"So I'll use a straw…"

Elena sighed and handed the powdered donut over to a smiling Reno. "I'm not hungry anymore. Take it.".

Nobody takes the last of Reno's favorite donut and got away with it.

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A/N: This story was inspired by the best health teacher in the world. Thanks, Ms. G!


	3. Birthday

**Reno's Life: Story 3**

"Happy birthday, Reno!".

Rude, Elena, and Tseng surprised Reno with a cake and balloons as he walked into his office, late as usual. Reno was surprised that they remembered his birthday.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles!", Elena said happily.

Reno thought for a while and blew out the candles.

"What did you wish for?", asked Rude.

"If I tell you that, it won't come true, yo", Reno replied.

"Forget about that! Let's have cake!", Elena cheered.

Tseng stepped forward to pick up the knife to cut the cake, but tripped over his own feet and fell face first into the heavily frosted pastry. Reno fell to the floor in hysterical laughter.

"Don't laugh so hard!", Elena said. "It's not that funny!".

Reno laughed and said, "I know, but I didn't think my wish would come true so fast, yo!".


	4. Sickness

**Reno's Life: Chp 4**

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?", Tseng answers.

"Boss…", Reno said weakly.

"What is it?", asked Tseng. He was busy and in no mood for Reno's nonsense.

"I can't come to work today. I'm sick", Reno answered, coughing a bit.

"Really?", said Tseng.

"Uh huh"

"What's wrong with you?"

"I have a…fever"

"A fever?"

"Yes. And a headache, yo"

"A fever and a headache?"

"And I…must be kept away from children"

"Oh, really?"

"Um…yeah. So, can I take the day off?"

"Reno, stop fooling around and get to work", Tseng said and hung up the phone.

Tseng hated when Reno faked illness by reading the back of the medicine bottle.


	5. Rollerskates

**Reno's Life: Chp 5**

"Hey, boss! Guess what I got!", Reno said happily, as he burst through the door to Tseng's office.

"Reno, I'm busy. I don't have time for this", replied Tseng, not looking up from his paperwork.

But Reno would not take "no" for an answer. Tseng heard the sound of tiny wheels rolling on his office floor as Reno moved across the room in the direction of his desk. Reno stopped moving when he slammed into a wall.

"I got a brand new pair of roller-skates, yo!", Reno said proudly.

"That's nice", Tseng said with his eyes still glued to the papers on his desk.

Reno pushed off from the wall and slid backwards into a big, leafy plant that was in the corner of the room.

"Boss! Lookit me, yo!", Reno shouted as he skated from one corner to the other.

Tseng refused to look up. He was too absorbed in his work.

"Look at me!", Reno repeated, waving his arms trying to get his boss' attention.

Tseng ignored the red-head and continued writing.

"I said, 'look at me!' "

Reno impatiently pushed himself off of the wall a little too hard and went flying into Tseng's desk, somersaulting over it, and landing on the poor man that sitting on the other side. Tseng growled angrily as he pushed Reno off of him.

"Well, this wouldn't have happened if you just would have looked at me, yo".

Tseng stood up, dusted himself off, and looked oddly composed.

"Reno"

"Y-Yes, boss?"

"Get out of here. Now."

"But, boss, I didn't-"

"Now, Reno."

"Y-Yes, boss"

The red-headed Turk struggled to stand and stumbled out of the door as quickly as he could, holding onto things to keep himself from falling.

Reno knew if Tseng was unusually calm after he has done something wrong, he was going to be in for it if he stuck around.

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A/N: Thankies for all of the reviews!


	6. Lottery Tickets

**Reno's Life: Chp 6 **

Elena scurried inside of Rude's office and swiftly shut the door with a mischievous look on her face.

"I got it!", she said, proudly holding up a brightly colored card.

Rude walked over to her, took the smallcard, and smirked.

"It's a fake lottery scratchcard. I can't wait the look on Reno's face when he thinks he's won!", Elena said while Rude inspected it.

"Still angry about him writing 'This is a hold-up' on the back of your withdrawal slips?", Rude asked, holding the lottery card out to Elena.

"My shoulders still hurt from when that policeman tackled me…", she mumbled, snatching the card.

As if on cue, Reno strolled happily into Rude's office.

"Hi Rude! Hi 'Lena!", he greeted.

"Oh! Reno! I bought you something!", Elena said quickly, handing him the lottery ticket.

Reno looked at it curiously and smiled. "Thanks, 'Lena!".

"I wouldn't bother with it. Nobody ever wins those", Rude said, returning to his seat.

"Don't be too sure about that! I have pretty good luck, yo", said Reno.

"Why don't you prove it to us by winning?", Elena challenged.

Reno looked at her, then at the card and decided to try his luck. He played the card game and suddenly looked shocked. He then jumped up and laughed.

"I won! I won five thousand gil, yo!", he cheered.

"I don't believe it", Rude said.

Reno shown him the card and Rude also looked shocked.

"Congratulations!", Elena said.

"I'm just so happy I'll be able to finally pay for my uncle's wheelchair. I wasn't gonna tell anybody, but his insurance won't pay for it and things were looking bad for him. But now he doesn't have to worry, 'cause I'll be able to afford it! I'm gonna cash this in right away!", said Reno, rushing for the door.

Elena, looking guilty, swiftly stopped Reno and took the card from him.

"I'll cash this in for you", Elena said. "I was on my way to the bank, anyway".

"Really, 'Lena? Thanks!", Reno said.

Elena walked out silently and closed the door behind her. A few seconds later, Reno laughed hysterically and Rude smiled.

"That was great, yo! Thanks for telling me about her plan, Rude! She looked so guilty!", Reno said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Rude nodded. "How long do you think it'll take for her to realize that you knew about it?", he asked.

"Not too long, yo. I wrote on the back of her withdrawal slips again".

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A/N: Like it? Love it? Have any comments? Thankies for all reviews!


	7. Rhyming

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Sesame Street!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 7**

Elena was quietly working in her office. It was a beautiful day and things had been quiet. Too quiet.

"Hey, 'Lena!", Reno said as he walked into the office.

"Reno, why aren't you doing your work?", asked Elena. "Go away and leave me alone!"

"Work is boring, yo. I have a better idea. Let's play a rhyming game".

"Get out of my office. I have too much work to deal with this right now"

"Aw, but you'll love this game! All you have to do is say something and I just have to say something else that rhymes with it"

"I don't want to play this game!"

" 'Maybe not, 'Lena, but we'll do it all the same!'You see that? You said game and I said same! They both rhymed, yo!".

"I know they rhyme. It's just not what I want to do!"

"Wiggle your finger and waggle your shoe!"

"Reno, get out!"

"No need to scream and no need to shout!"

"I don't want to play a game with rhymes!"

"Nice going Elena, oh ring my chimes!"

"I don't want to do it!"

"There's really nothing to it!"

"You're being silly"

"A boy named Billy!"

"Reno, please!"

"A dog has fleas!"

"Grrrr…"

"Brrr!"

"Reno, this has got to stop"

"Some people like to jump and hop!"

"I don't want to do it anymore!"

"One and two and three and four!"

"Reno!"

"Beano!"

"Stop it!"

"Mop it!"

"Stop!"

"Flop!"

"Out!"

"Sprout!"

"Hm….hippopotamus!"

"Uh…rhipototopus!"

"Fine! I give up…"

"Eat from a plate and drink from a cup!"

"I guess I'll just play along"

"It plays like a game and sings like a song!"

"You may be right, I may be wrong"

"A clock goes tick and a bell goes bong!"

"This game is really kinda kicky!"

"Sugar's sweet and glue is sticky!"

"Yeah, and water is wet and dust is dry!"

"Dogs gotta walk and birds gotta fly!"

Suddenly, Reno's saw Rude walk by the office and stopped singing. He quickly and quietly left, running after Rude, leaving Elena singing by herself. Tseng silently walked in with a stack of papers and stared at Elena, who was still dancing and singing to the song Reno started.

"Sleep at night and-erm…hi, boss…"

Elena immediately stopped singing and dancing once she turned around and saw a shocked Tseng. Laughing nervously, she walked over to Tseng and took the papers from him. Tseng walked out of the office, slowly shaking his head.

Reno seemed to be rubbing off on everyone.

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A/N: This chapter came to me when I was watching an old episode of Sesame Street. I love Bert and Ernie! Thankies for all reviews!


	8. Dare

**Disclamier: **I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or the show that is parodied later on in the bonus story!

**Reno's Life: Chp 8**

Turks play dangerous games when they're bored.

"Hey, Reno, I dare you-"

'I dare you' was one of those games.

"-to shove these ice cubes down your pants and keep them there for a while", Rude said, leaning back in his chair, holding up a cup of iced tea.

Reno thought for a while and smirked. He was never one to back down from a dare. Especially from one of his fellow Turks.

"How long is a while?", Reno asked.

"Around two minutes", replied Rude.

"What do I get if I complete the dare?"

Rude reached into his pocket, pulled out one hundred gil, and slammed it down onto the table.

Smirking, Reno fished the ice cubes out of the iced tea and put them in his pants. He flinched at first, then began to shiver violently. Just then, Elena walked into the lounge, holding a coffee mug.

"What's wrong with him?", Elena asked Rude, pointing at Reno.

"Playing 'I dare you'. Reno shoved ice down his pants", Rude replied, trying to suppress a smile.

Elena sighed. For Turks, they sure did not act too bright.

"Could you two PLEASE act like you have some sense! You're Turks, for goodness' sake! Start acting like it!", Elena scolded. "And Reno! Take that ice out of your pants!".

Reno sighed, reached into his pants, pulled out the ice, and…

"Reno, no!"

Plink! Dropped the ice cubes back into Rude's iced tea. The blonde Turk groaned and left the lounge muttering to herself.

Reno and Rude watched silently as she left. Then they turned to each other and shrugged.

"I dare you to drink it", Reno said, holding up the tainted iced tea.

Reno loved playing 'I dare you'.

_Bonus Story_

**Cloud's Life: Cookies**

After a long ride back home, Cloud walked into the Seventh Heaven.

"Tifa, I'm back!", he called out.

Tifa walked out of the kitchen, wearing an apron. Her hair was a mess and she looked like she has not slept for days.

"Hi Cloud!", she greeted. "I'm almost done with those cookies you asked me to bake".

Cloud smiled and hugged Tifa. "Thanks", he said.

"I haven't slept for three days. I hope it'll all be worth it", she told him.

"I'm sure the cookies will be delicious", he said. "All five hundred of them".

Tifa froze and stared at the blonde ex-SOLDIER.

"You mean five hundred _dozen_, right?", she asked.

"No, I mean only five hundred", he replied.

"But the order you left was for five hundred dozen".

"It was for only five hundred. What kind of idiot orders five hundred dozen cookies?"

"Don't make me answer that", she hissed. "Look here…"

Tifa reached into her pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper with Cloud's handwriting on it.

"See? Five hundred D-Z. D-Z means dozen", said Tifa.

Cloud inspected the paper. "No. I wrote D-Z as an abbreviation for Denzel. He's the one who needs the cookies for his bake sale at school".

Tifa dropped the paper to the floor and blankly stared at Cloud.

"Cloud? Sweetie? Could you be a dear and pass me that rolling pin on the table beside you?", she said.

Cloud mindlessly gave Tifa the rolling pin. Tifa instantly raised the pin and clubbed Cloud over the head with it with all her strength.

"What the heck do you mean 'D-Z is short for Denzel'!", she roared.

"But Tifa-"

Tifa quickly silenced him with a few more blows to the head with the rolling pin.

_Moral: _Always _write out what you mean._

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A/N: The bonus story is a parody of some show I saw a while ago. Too bad I forgot the name...Anyways, thankies for the reviews! More soon!


	9. Elena

**Reno's Life: Chp 9**

Elena walked into her office, slumped down into her chair, and lay her head on the desk. Tears filled her eyes as she began to cry softly to herself. Her day was going horribly wrong.

Elena woke up late because she forgot to set her clock one hour forward. Her car refused to start that morning, so she had to run to work in the pouring cold rain. Her last clean uniform was soiled with mud. They were out of coffee in the lounge, and now there were rumors in the building that Tseng and the new employee were going out. Could her day have gotten any worse?

Just as things began looking their worst, a soft knock came to the door.

"What is it?", Elena asked grumpily. _Probably Reno. My bad day wouldn't be complete without him doing something stupid_, she thought to herself.

"Delivery for a …Ms. Elena?", the person replied.

Elena curiously stood up, walked over to the door, and slowly opened it. A delivery man with a rather large bouquet of flowers was patiently standing there.

"Who are they from?", she asked as she took the flowers from him.

The man shrugged and went on his way. Elena looked for a card. She found one, but the only thing written on it was "For 'Lena". Elena smiled for the first time that day. She knew exactly who it was from.

As the hours went by, more and more deliveries were being made. Elena's office looked like some sort of garden. Employees with allergies had trouble walking by her office. Each order of flowers made her feel more and more special. Her bad day soon turned into a good one.

Reno could be a real jerk, but at times, he could be a real sweetheart.

But where did he get all the money for this?

A few doors down, Reno was leaning back in his chair, holding a small, rectangular-shaped plastic card in his hands.

"I wonder how ol' Tseng would react when he finds out his credit card is missing, yo".


	10. Rufus

**Reno's Life: Chp 10**

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

"Who is it?", Rufus asked, busily scribbling away while sitting at his desk.

"You'll never guess what happened, yo", Reno said as he walked into the office.

Rufus sighed and put his pen down.

"Reno", Rufus said, stopping the red-head before he continued his story.

"What?", replied Reno.

"When I ask 'Who is it?', you tell me who it is! Now march out of this office and let's do this again".

"Are you seriou-"

"MARCH!"

Reno stomped out of the door, slammed it shut, and knocked again.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

"Who is it?", Rufus asked.

"Who it is!", snapped Reno.

Rufus growled. "Get in here, you smart aleck!".

Reno loved to get on Rufus' nerves.

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A/N: Ah...one of my favorite smart aleckreplies. This chapter is funnier if read aloud. Enjoy!


	11. Chocobo

**Reno's Life: Chp 11**

"Aw, 'Lena! Why do _I_ have to be the one to wear this ridiculous outfit, yo? I look like Cloud!"

"Because you're the one who crashed the helicopter, Mr.Hey!-Look!-I-can-fly-with-my-eyes-closed!"

"But-"

"Look, no buts. You're _going _to wear the chocobo outfit and attract another chocobo or I'll ride on _your _back all the way back home"

"…fine"

"Good. Oh! Here comes one! I'll hide in the bush and you get it to come here so I can capture it!"

"I don't see why I have to be the one. I know I crashed the helicopter, but you'll make a much more attractive chocobo, yo"

"Shut up and shake that money-maker!"

"Agh! Don't push me, yo! I'm going!"

Reno stumbled out into the path of the chocobo and looked stunned. How exactly do you attract a female chocobo? He did the only thing he could think of.

"Come to me, Choco, baby! Take a chance and I don't mean maybe! Kweh!"

The frightened chocobo ran off in the opposite direction, frightened by Reno's silly song and dance.

"This is going to be a long day…", Elena mumbled.

Reno sighed out of frustration. He was going to get that annoying little ninja for stealing his chocobo lure materia.

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A/N: Thankies for all reviews! I'm taking any and allsuggestions,too. They're all appreciated!


	12. Words

**Reno's Life: Chp 12**

The blonde president gave Reno an angry glare as he paced back and forth in front of him.

"I can't believe you'd do something like that", he scolded.

"Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you, yo?", Reno responded.

Rufus stood up straight and looked directly at the red-head.

"I swear, are the synapses functioning correctly in your brain?"

"I don't see what a summary of text or subject has to do with this, yo"

"Reno, that's a _synopsis_"

"Synopsis? Isn't that when people are put into a sleeplike state?"

"That's _hypnosis_"

"Isn't that some sort of weird pokemon?"

"You mean Hypno?"

"No, a Hypno is one of those big grey animals at the zoo, yo"

"That's a _hippo_, Reno"

"But isn't a hippo one of those who rejected accepted social and political values and proclaimed a belief in universal peace and love, yo?"

"That's a _hippie_!", Rufus hissed, clearly annoyed. "That's it! Get out of my office!"

"But-"

"I'm _irate _at the moment! Out!"

Rufus impatiently pushed Reno out of his office and slammed the door. Reno looked back with a confused look on his face.

"What does eye color have to do with this, yo?"

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A/N: This is a true story from my physics class. Our class isn't that bright…Oh! And by the way, the last word Reno was referring to was "iris". Please review!


	13. No I

**Reno's Life: Chp 13**

Reno was quietly sitting in his office, leaning back in his chair with his feet on his desk. He was really bored and did not feel like doing his work. Besides, it was a really slow day. Nothing was going on. Suddenly, Rude walked in holding a sign with the word "No" scribbled on it.

"Hey, Reno, I bet I could make you say this word", he said, holding up the sign.

Reno sat up straight and smirked at Rude.

"No you can't", he replied.

"You said it! You just said 'no'", Rude said, smirking slyly.

Reno laughed. "Good one. Hey, can I borrow that sign so I can get 'Lena with it too, yo?"

Rude gave Reno the sign and walked away, laughing silently to himself. Reno laughed and ran into Elena's office.

"Hey, 'Lena! I bet I can make you say this word, yo!", he said, holding up the sign.

Elena looked up from the book she was reading and raised an eyebrow.

"That word? Well I doubt it, but you can try", she said.

Reno paused uncertainly.

"Um…well…", Reno stuttered.

Elena laughed. "You're not very good at this, are you? I bet I can make _you _say that word instead".

Reno looked at Elena and shook his head.

"No you can't!", he said indignantly.

Elena laughed again. "I did it! You just said 'no'! Say it again!"

"No!"

"Hahaha! Say it again! Again!"

"No!"

Reno left the office and threw the sign on the ground. This game was no longer any fun.

"C'mon, Reno! Say 'no' again!", Elena requested, following him into the hall.

"No! Stop it, yo!"

"Again! Say it again!"

"No! No!"

"Again!"

"No!"

Elena giggled. She liked _this _game.

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A/N: I played this game a lot in elementary school. Does anybody else remember playing it? Don't forget to review!


	14. No II

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy 7. And special thankies to Raven2120 for the idea!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 14**

Reno walked into Elena's office for the second time that day.

"Trying to make me say that word again, Reno?", Elena asked without looking up from her book.

Reno smirked. He knew exactly how to make her say it. Or so he thought.

"Maybe", he said. "But first, answer this. Will you go out with me?".

"Reno, you know I don't date outside my species", she answered with a small laugh.

Reno pretended to look offended. He was determined to make her say that word.

"Oh, 'Lena, I'm hurt", he pouted. "Apologize?".

Elena sat silently and kept reading. Reno sat on her desk, laid back, and looked up at her. The blonde remained placid.

"'Lena?", Reno said quietly.

"Yes?", said Elena.

"Why won't you go out with me?"

Elena looked up from her book and directly into his eyes. She gazed at them wordlessly for a few minutes, making the red-head blush a bit.

"Because I thought you had a thing for Rude", she replied, looking back down.

"Ew! No I don't!", Reno exclaimed, almost falling off of the desk.

"Hah! I made you say 'no' again!", giggled Elena.

Reno rolled off of the desk and walked out of the office. It was not worth it.He _definitely _hated this game.Elena jumped out of her seat and ran for the door.

"Oh, don't be angry with _me _just because you have a thing for Rude!", she shouted at him.

"NO I DON'T!"

"Yes you do!"

"NO!"

"Say it again!"

"GRAH! NO!"

Elena giggled and ran after him. She _really _enjoyed this game.

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A/N: Thankies for all of my reviews! I love each and every one of them! Suggestions are also welcome! .


	15. Fans

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or Sesame Street!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 15**

Rufus was peacefully sitting at his desk, writing a letter, when suddenly, Reno runs into his office.

"Hi, sir! It sure is a hot day today, huh?"

Rufus did not answer. Instead, he continued writing.

"Oh. You're writing a letter. I won't bother you"

No response.

"I said 'I WON'T BOTHER YOU'!"

Rufus looked up, sighed, and continued writing.

"I'll just get the electric fan and turn it on, yo"

Reno walked over to the closet, pulled out an electric fan and turned it on.

"Wow. So much better, right Rufus?"

No response.

"Well, if some cool air feels good, I bet more feels even better, yo"

Reno turned the fan a little higher and smirked.

"Wow! The more the fan blows, the cooler I feel! I bet if I turn it all the way, I'll feel great, yo!"

The red-headed Turk turned the fan to it's highest setting and things blew everywhere. Rufus' papers flew off his desk and the president himself had to hold onto his seat to avoid getting thrown across the room.

"Reno, turn it off!", Rufus shouted.

"What?"

"TURN IT OFF!"

"WHAT?"

"TURN THE DARN THING OFF!"

"TURN WHAT OFF?"

"THE FAN! THE FAN! TURN IT OFF!"

"Oh! Okay, yo!"

Reno turned the fan off and everything settled down.

"Reno?"

"Yes, sir?"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! I'VE BEEN SITTING OVER THERE, TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER, AND ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME WITH THAT FAN! I AM SO HOT AND BOTHERED!"

"Hot and bothered, sir?"

"YES! HOT AND BOTHERED!"

"Well, I have just the thing for someone who's hot and bothered, yo"

"What is it?"

"Cool air!"

"Reno, no!"

Reno turned the fan to it's maximum speed again and everything flew into the air, including the president.

Reno _really _liked to bother Rufus.

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A/N: I really like Bert and Ernie! Thankies to them for the idea! Please review!


	16. Obsession

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7. And big hug to Laili the Turk for the idea for this fic! Thankies!

**---------------------------------**

**Reno's Life: Chp 16**

"Reno, get down from there!"

"Never, yo!"

"You're being ridiculous!"

"Am I, 'Lena? Am I!"

"Yes, you are!"

"I'm not leaving until you accept our love!"

"Reno, it's not love. Its an obsession. Now get down from there!"

"I'll jump if you don't!"

"Reno, you're not going to jump"

"Yes I am, 'Lena!"

"You're being such a baby, you know that?"

"Why do you not see how much I love-"

"Because you're messy and you leave stains everywhere! And don't get me started on the smell!"

"That's it. I'm jumping"

"You're not jumping, Reno. We're on the 70th floor"

The frightened crowd of nosey ShinRa employees gasped as the red-headed Turk placed his left foot on the window ledge and opened the window wide enough to squeeze through.

"Reno, don't!"

BANG!

Everyone stared silently as the milky brown liquid splashed onto the ground from the small white box in Reno's right hand.

"That is quite enough of that", Rufus said. "Everyone, get back to work".

The blonde president lowered his shotgun and walked back to his office. Reno collapsed onto his knees and started to cry.

"NO! MY CHOCOLATE MILK!"

Reno _loves _chocolate milk.

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A/N: Thanks for all of my reviews! They all make me feel so happy! Keep reviewin'!


	17. Mother's Day

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7.

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**Reno's Life: Chp 17**

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello. City morgue!"

"Where's mother?"

"Oh. It's you, yo"

"Answer me! Where is mother? We know you have her!"

"Sorry, don't know"

Click.

Ring.

Ring.

"Rufus' Bar and Grill! You kill it, we grill it! How may I help you?"

"Where is mother!"

"I told you, I don't know, yo!"

Click.

Ring.

Ring.

"You've reached 'The Lifestream'. How can I help you?"

"Where…is…MOTHER!"

Click.

Ring.

Ring.

"Look you,-"

"Hello! You have been chosen for an all expenses paid trip to the Great Glacier!"

"Really, yo?"

"Yes! You're a winner!"

"Wow! This is great!"

"Congratulations! All you have to do is tell us where you hid Mother and-"

Click.

Reno sighed. Mother's day was always the busiest day at ShinRa.

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A/N: A late Mother's Day chapter... Enjoy!


	18. Toy Store

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 18**

"Thanks for coming with me, Reno", Elena said as she walked through the toy aisle of a large department store. "I just don't know what to get my niece as a birthday gift!"

Reno smirked. _Maybe if I could get onto her good side, she would go out with me! _he thought.

"It's no problem at all, 'Lena!", he said. "I'm happy to help, yo!".

After swiftly scanning the shelves, Elena picked up a cute little bird puppet.

"How's this?", she asked Reno.

Reno took the puppet from Elena, put it on his hand, and made it squeak.

"It squeaks! How cute!", Elena squealed.

"You think this is cute? Listen to this"

Reno began repeatedly squeaking the puppet while shouting "Hey, Auntie 'Lena!" over and over again. The blonde Turk quickly became annoyed with it.

"Alright, bad idea", she said, placing it back onto the shelf.

She scanned the shelf again and picked up a plastic doll with a big, frilly pink dress and long black hair.

"What about this?", she asked.

Reno took it from her and placed it on the floor.

"Alright. Now, take off your shoe", he instructed.

"What?"

"Take off the shoe, yo", he repeated.

Elena sighed and took off her right shoe. Reno pushed her forward, causing her to stumble onto the plastic toy and cry out in pain.

"Now that's what you may be stepping on if she decides to sleep over", said Reno.

Elena put her shoe back on and put the toy back on the shelf. What could she get her niece that would not hurt or annoy anyone?

"How's this?", she asked for the third time, holding up a puzzle box.

Reno looked at the box and smiled.

"Hold it up over your head and shake it, yo", he ordered.

Elena held the box over her head and shook it.

"Now jump up and down"

Elena began to jump up and down.

"Reno, what is this supposed to prove?", she asked.

Reno shrugged.

"Nothing, yo. It just amuses me".

The blonde Turk bashed Reno over the head with the puzzle box and stomped off.

So much for getting onto her good side.

---------------------------------

A/N: Yay! Thanks for all of those reviews! Oh! And for that last chapter, it was Kadaj on the phone. Heh. Please review!


	19. Vacuum Cleaner

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7!

**Note**: Words in _italics_ are thoughts!

------------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 19**

Reno whistled a happy tune to himself as he walked up to the door to Elena's house. He knocked on the door twice and waited patiently.

_I wonder if 'Lena would let me borrow her vacuum cleaner. The stupid piece of junk I have at home just **had**_ _to break down, didn't it? _Reno thought.

After waiting a few more seconds, Reno raised his hand to knock on the door again, then paused.

_Wait a moment, _he thought. _'Lena usually takes a bath at this time. Maybe she's in the tub._

He went to knock again, then paused.

_Maybe she doesn't want to be bothered right now. I know I wouldn't if I was taking a nice, hot bath. I mean, she's sitting there, nice and warm, and I just **have**_ _to come knocking on the door to borrow something as small as a vacuum cleaner…_

Reno paused yet again and looked silently at the door.

_Then, she'll be annoyed because I interrupted her bath time. Then she won't let me borrow her vacuum cleaner! She would think that I wouldn't return it, but I would. But she may not think so…_

The red-head started to look annoyed.

_Then…then she'll go around telling everyone not to lend me things anymore! And then people will listen to her! They won't talk to me or anything! All because they think I'm irresponsible!_

By this time, Reno looked livid.

_Why, I used to have a bunch of friends until that stupid blonde started shooting her mouth off!_

Reno furiously pounded on the door, shouting for Elena to come out. Elena answers the door calmly, fully dressed and smiling.

"Hello, Reno! What a pleasant surpri-"

"Oh yeah! Well, if that's the way you feel about it, then you can keep your trashy, rotten ol' vacuum cleaner, you--!"

Reno stomped off and Elena stared at him in disbelief.

"What's _his _problem?"

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A/N: Yay! Now that I finished "Little Sephiroth", I can work full-time on this! Okay, maybe not full-time, but whatever. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to review!


	20. Chocobo II

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7!

--------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 20**

Everything was peaceful and calm as Tseng diligently worked on the reports that the president assigned to him. But it was quiet. Too quiet.

"Wark! Wark!"

Tseng looked up from his work and towards his office door. He simply shrugged it off and went back to work.

"Wark! WARK!"

Tseng looked up again. Whatever made that noise, it was coming closer and closer to his office.

"Wark! Kweh!"

Laughter followed the strange noises as it approached the Turk's office. Knowing he would probably regret it, Tseng stood up and walked over to the office door. He slowly opened the door and peeked out.

"What is-"

A red and golden flash zipped by him, causing the poor man to stumble back and fall onto his desk.

"Wark! Wark! Kweh, yo!"

Tseng rubbed his head and walked back to the door. He looked in the direction that the blur went and looked speechless.

"Wark, wark, yo!", Reno shouted in a chocobo outfit.

Elena giggled while clinging to his back.

"Faster, chocobo!", Elena shouted in excitement.

"Kweh, yo!", Reno responded.

Tseng rubbed his eyes in disbelief and closed his office door.

Whatever it was, he decided that it was better not to ask.

-----------------------

A/N: Yes, this is the continuation of chapter 11(Chocobo). I guess they didn't find a chocobo to ride home after all! Please review!


	21. Grocery Shopping

**Reno's Life: Chp 21**

Elena smiled happily to herself as she walked through the halls of the ShinRa building with a bag full of groceries in one hand and a small piece of paper in the other.

"Tseng would be so proud of me when he sees what I have done for him!", Elena said to herself. "Maybe he'll even reward me!"

The blonde Turk walked into the lounge and placed the bag on the table in front of Tseng, careful not to disturb the food and drinks that were already sitting there. Tseng, Reno, and Rude looked up at Elena from their lunches.

"All done, sir!", Elena said.

"What is?", Tseng asked.

Elena held up the small piece of paper in her hand.

"I found the shopping list you left here this morning and decided to do the shopping for you during my break", she answered. "And I found everything on the list, sir"

Tseng took the list and looked at it carefully.

"So…um…sir? Do I get….a…um…uh..?", Elena asked shyly.

"A reward? For doing grocery shopping? This isn't even my list"

"What? But your name is signed on the bottom!"

Reno stood up, took the grocery bag, and gave Elena a quick smooch on the cheek.

"Thanks", he said with a sly grin.

Elena took a step back and glared at Reno.

"You mean that was _your _list!", she growled. "_You _wrote that!"

Reno nodded. "Well, yeah. Thanks for everything, 'Lena!"

"Reno, that was horribly inconsiderate", Rude said. "Why didn't you ask me if I wanted anything before you left Elena a phony list?"

Elena watched Reno and Rude leave the lounge with a mix of anger and shock on her face.

"I can't believe I fell for that!", Elena whined.

Tseng looked over the list again and frowned.

"I can't believe you thought I spelled 'butter' with two D's…"

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A/N: Aaaaaand, I'm back! Yes, I'm not dead. Sorry an update has taken so long, but tradgedy hit my family and I've been down ever since. But now I'm better, so there will be updates galore! Please review!


	22. The Chase

**Reno's Life: Chp 22**

"Get him!"

"Don't let him get away!"

Reno dashed around the corner of the hallway and leapfrogged over a ShinRa employee.

"No way am I letting them get me, yo!"

The red-headed Turk barged into Rufus' office and looked around.

"Gotta hide…gotta hide, yo…"

"Hide?", Rufus asked.

"Aha!", Reno said. "Excuse me, sir!"

He jumped into a big, fancy, and undoubtedly expensive vase in the corner of the big office and kept quiet.

"What the…?"

Suddenly, Elena and Rude slammed open the office door and ran inside.

"I apologize, sir", Elena said, bowing. "But have you seen Reno?"

Rufus looked around the office and smiled.

'Rufus, if you love me, you won't tell them where I'm hiding, yo', Reno thought to himself.

"In the vase", Rufus said, getting back to his work.

"Agh! Traitor!", Reno shouted, frantically climbing out of the vase.

"Grab him!", Elena shouted.

The two Turks rushed for Reno, but they were too slow. Reno dove off of the vase and onto the air vent on the wall.

"Later, losers!", he shouted before climbing in.

"Darnnit! Rude, give me a boost! I'm going after him", Elena said.

"But-"

"Rude! Now!"

Rude helped Elena onto his shoulders and she climbed into the air vents after Reno.

"Now, which way did he go?", Elena whispered to herself.

Suddenly, she spotted something move only a few feet ahead of her.

"There! Reno! Stop!", she shouted, crawling after him.

"Never, yo!", he shouted back, crawling faster.

Elena chased Reno for what seemed like forever until Reno mysteriously came to a halt.

"I have you now, Re-"

Elena froze. "What the?"

Reno smirked.

"What? You stuck?"

"I am not! I'm just…", Elena snapped, wiggling to get her arms free. "Just…just…"

"Too fat, yo?"

"What! Take that back!"

Reno laughed and climbed out of the vent. "Later, 'tater!"

Elena growled angrily and crawled back. "I'll get him for this!"

Meanwhile, Reno ran down the hall, looking for a place to hide.

"Perfect, yo"

Rude and Tseng helped Elena out of the air vents and continued their search when they suddenly heard a door slam a short distance away. They rushed over to the office and tried to open the door.

"Reno, open this door!"

No response. Instead, the sound of heavy furniture being moved in front of the door could be heard.

"That's it. We're going to have to resort to…drastic measures", Tseng said darkly.

Elena nodded. "Should I get the bombs, sir?"

"Not that drastic, Elena. I have something else in mind", Tseng responded. "Rude, would you?"

Rude pulled Elena back and covered her mouth.

"Sorry, but I need you to keep quiet until Reno comes out, alright?", said Tseng.

Elena hesitantly nodded.

"Reno, come out of that office this instant!", Tseng shouted.

"Never, yo! You'll never take me alive!"

"You're pitiful! I'm ashamed to call you a Turk!", Rude added.

"Yes, and-oh, Elena! Strip tease? This is hardly the time!", Tseng said.

Elena stared at her boss in disbelief. But sure enough, his plan was working. The furniture was moved away from the door, the lock to the office unlocked, and the doorknob slowly turned.

"This is not appropriate, Elena!", said Rude. "Put your top back on!"

The office door opened just enough for Reno to peek and Elena snapped. She pushed out of Rude's grip and kicked down the door, knocking Reno onto his back.

"How dare you believe that I would do such a thing!" Elena roared at Reno.

"How dare you lie to me, yo!"

"Quick! Grab him!", ordered Tseng.

Rude ran into the office, grabbed Reno, and held onto him as tightly as he could.

"Good job, Rude"

"No! No, yo! You can't do this to me!", Reno cried. "Rude, let me go! C'mon! You're my best pal! You won't let them do this to me, right?"

Rude ignored the shouting red-head and dragged Reno down the hall.

"Oh, hush, Reno!", Elena scolded. "This only happens once a year!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Reno hated visiting the doctor for his yearly check-up.


	23. Fanfiction

**Reno's Life: Chp 23**

"Heh, this is great, yo!"

"You really have some talent there, Reno"

"Hey! Thanks, Rude!"

"…Could you print a copy for me?"

"Sure, yo"

Reno sat back in his office chair and hit the print button. His buddy, Rude, sat next to him and was reading something off of Reno's computer.

"Hey, but make sure Elena doesn't get her hands on it, alright, yo?"

"Of course"

"Get my hands on what?"

Reno and Rude looked up and Elena was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

"Um…nothing, yo!"

"Y-Yeah!", Rude defended, shutting the computer off as quickly as he could.

"What were you reading?", Elena asked suspiciously.

"Nothing! Why are you so suspicious?", asked Reno.

"Hm, no reason", Elena answered. She then walked up to the printer and picked up a piece of paper. "Huh? What's this?"

Rude snatched the paper and clutched it to his chest. "Nothing! It's just work stuff"

"Work stuff? Since when does Reno print 'work stuff' from his computer?"

"It is, yo! Now don't you have to go write up a report or flirt with Tseng or something?"

Elena looked even more suspicious. "Okay, then. If it's work stuff ,why is my name on it? And Tifa's?"

Reno and Rude looked at each other guiltily.

"Um…it's a…story", Reno answered slowly.

"Oh! A story?", Elena said happily. "About me? Can I read it?"

"N-No!", Rude and Reno said quickly in unison.

"Why not?"

"B-Because…"

"I'll read it to you, yo"

Reno took the paper from Rude and cleared his throat.

"Ahem…uh…Once upon a time…there was a beautiful goddess of a woman named Elena…and another woman named Tifa. Um…they…uh…they decided to have a picnic on a warm summer day. And…uh…Sephiroth showed up and shouted "Why now, brown cow!" and the world exploded and the kingdom was theirs forever. Um…the end, yo".

Elena and Rude stared at Reno.

"Reno, you suck at lying…"

"That was the worst story ever", Rude said.

Elena pushed both Turks aside and snatched the paper away.

"Uh oh…um, I have a meeting to get to now! See ya!", Rude said, running out the door.

"Me too!", said Reno while running out after him.

Elena scanned over the paper and her eyes opened wide in shock.

"Is this…a lemon yuri!"

---------------

A/N: For those who don't know what a lemon or yuri is, it's a very, very, very bad type of story that Reno shouldn't be writing up on his work time. Reno's a horrible, horrible person...but we still love him.


	24. The Date

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7!

----------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 24**

Elena could not believe it. Reno could not believe it. But somehow, it was true.

Reno and Elena were actually on a date together.

"I can't believe I said yes…", Elena mumbled.

"But you did!", Reno said cheerfully. "And don't worry. You won't regret it, yo"

"I can't believe you took me to the Golden Saucer", Elena added.

"Aw, c'mon. It'll be fun, yo!", said Reno. "So what do you want to do first?"

Elena looked around curiously and frowned.

_'Just give him a chance'_, she thought to herself.

"How about we play some games in the arcade?", Elena suggested.

So they went to the arcade part of the Golden Saucer and walked around, looking curiously at the games for a while until…

"Oh! Whack-a-mole!", Elena said excitedly, pointing at one of the brightly colored games. "I love Whack-a-mole! I used to play all the time when I was a little girl. Do you mind if I…?"

Reno smiled. "Go ahead. And good luck!".

Elena thanked Reno and walked up to the machine. As she picked up the mallet to play, a big, strong looking man walked up next to her and picked up the challenger's mallet. He took one look at Elena and scoffed.

"Beating this blondie is going to be a cakewalk", he muttered. "Pshhhhh…And she's a woman. How hard could this be?"

Elena, oblivious to the man's comment, accepted his challenge.

Unfortunately, Reno heard the remark and growled.

"Hey!", Reno called out.

Both players froze and looked at Reno.

"Yes?", Elena said.

Reno walked up to Elena and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Look, 'Lena, what do you care more about? Playing this game or winning, yo?"

"Well, I want to win enough GP so that we could go on the Ferris-"

"Fair enough", Reno said, snatching the mallet away from the blonde Turk. Elena stared at him in disbelief, but let his action pass because she was curious as to what he was up to.

"Ready to lose, punk?", Reno asked.

The man snorted and the game began. After playing for only a few seconds, it was clear that the big man was better at this game than Reno. But Reno was determined to show this man a thing or two for talking about Elena that way.

'_Nobody gets away with talking badly about Elena while I'm around!_', Reno thought.

Suddenly, the red-head turned his mallet away from the little plastic moles and clubbed the man over the head. The man fell to the ground as Reno continued to beat him over and over with the hard wooden mallet. Elena stared in shock and remained speechless.

"And don't you dare talk about my girl that way again, you big jerk!", Reno shouted, kicking the man in the head for good measure.

Elena looked up at Reno and stared. Reno smiled innocently and put an arm around her.

"R-Reno?"

"Yeah?"

"W-What did he say?"

"Don't worry about it", Reno said. "I got the GP and that's all that matters. So...do you want to ride the Ferris wheel now?"

Elena smiled and nodded while a soft hue of pink appeared on her cheeks.

Maybe this date wouldn't turn out to be as bad as she thought.

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A/N: Squeeeeee! Thankies for all of my reviews. I love you guys so much! Cookies for all! Anyway, please read and review!


	25. Sledding

**Reno's Life: Chp 25**

"Are we there yet?"

"Not yet, yo"

"Well, when can I open my eyes?"

"When I open mine"

"Reno!"

"Relax, 'Lena! I was just kidding! Close your eyes again"

"…That's not funny"

"Calm down, Rude. We're almost there"

Reno safely landed the helicopter in the middle of a snowy field and carefully led Rude and Elena out onto the ground.

"We're here, yo!"

"It's freezing!"

"…Can we go back?"

"Aw, c'mon! You guys will love it. Now open your eyes!"

Elena and Rude opened their eyes and gasped. Reno had led them to the entrance of Icicle Inn. Little children were playing on their sleds and building snowmen near cozy-looking cabins. Rude remained silent and Elena cringed.

"I remember this place. I tried to hit Cloud and I ended up rolling down a hill", muttered Elena. "I don't like it here".

Reno walked back to the helicopter and pulled out a big red sled.

"Don't even worry about that. We'll have fun here with this!", Reno said cheerfully.

"A big sled?", Rude asked.

"That sled is bigger than the hills around here", Elena commented.

Reno shook his head. "No, we're not sledding with the children here. We're going over there", he said, pointing at the biggest slope at the edge of town.

"No way, Reno", said Elena. "The only person who will enjoy sledding there will have to be crazier than Sephiroth".

Reno scoffed and ran towards the slope, dragging the sled behind him. Rude sighed.

"I'm going back to the helicopter", he said, walking back towards the snowy field.

Elena followed Rude, but stopped. She could not just let Reno do something so stupid. He could really hurt himself.

"Reno, wait!", she called out.

Reno was already sitting on the sled, waiting for his fellow Turks.

"Alright, 'Lena! I knew Rude would chicken out!", Reno said happily.

"No, Reno, I'm not here to sled down this crazy mountain", Elena said. "I'm here to stop you from doing something that could kill you".

"Oh, you're just chicken, yo"

"I am not!"

"Are too"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Oh, grow up! I'm going back to the helicopter", Elena said, turning back.

But as soon as the blonde Turk took a step towards the helicopter, a small rodent-like animal scurried out from a bush and right into her path. Elena yelped, jumped back, and tripped over her own feet. Reno swiftly caught her before she hit the ground.

"Are you alright, 'Lena?", he asked.

"I think so…", said Elena. "But…um…are we moving?".

Elena was right. The sled was slowly sliding forward. The two Turks scrambled to get off of the sled, but it was too late. The sled dashed down the slope at a blinding speed, narrowly dodging trees, boulders, chocobos, and snow-moogles. Reno and Elena were screaming as loudly as they could as they swung around corners and ducked to avoid low branches.

They finally hit a snow bank the bottom of the slope, flew off of the sled, and landed face first into the snow. A few seconds later, Reno sat up and crawled over to Elena, who looked dead.

"Elena! Elena! Are you alive!", Reno shouted.

Elena sat up, shook the snow out of her hair, and glared at Reno.

"I am sooooooooooooo sorry!", apologized Reno.

Elena's angry glare soon turned into friendly laughter. She laughed and laughed while Reno just stared. The red-headed Turk moved back a few inches. Maybe the hit on her head made her go crazy.

"Are you kidding? I had the time of my life!", Elena said. "Let's do it again!"

Reno looked shocked. She _enjoyed _it? The red-head shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"Alright, 'Lena! Let's do it again, yo!".


	26. Cupcake Thief

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7! (But that cupcake is all mine!)

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**Reno's Life: Chp 26**

Elena looked into an empty plastic food container and frowned.

Somebody had eaten the chocolate cupcake that she left in the lounge for lunch and she had a good idea of who the culprit was.

"Oh, Renooooo!", Elena called out, barely suppressing her anger. "Where are you?"

"…In here, 'Lena!", Reno called back from his office.

Elena marched in and held out the empty food container.

"Do you have any idea who ate my cupcake?"

"…Not a clue, yo"

"Oh, really?"

"Really, yo"

"Oh, because I was really looking forward to it and now it's gone… and I think I'm going to cry…"

"Don't cry, 'Lena! I think I saw…uh… Rufus take it"

"Rufus?"

"Yeah! He loves his cupcakes, you know"

"So you claim that Rufus walked into the _employee _lounge _just _to eat this cupcake? When he has a huge, _functioning_, kitchen of his own and is capable of having a _dozen _cupcakes delivered to him with a simple phone call?"

"…Yeah"

"Are you positive?"

"Yeah! I saw Rufus eat it! That greedy little rat! Let's go teach him a lesson, yo"

"Great idea, Reno. Let's go and get him"

"Alright!"

Reno stood up from his seat, walked towards the door, but Elena stopped him.

"But before we get revenge on Rufus", Elena started. "Wipe the chocolate frosting off of your face!"

The blonde Turk tossed a napkin in his face and stormed out of the office.

Reno never really was good at lying.

-----------------------

A/N: Thankies for all of those lovely reviews! I'm currently working on some of the suggestions given and I'd really love it if I get more of them! Please review!


	27. Babysitting

**Reno's Life: Chp 27**

"So then, I told Cloud that-"

"Wait a moment, Tifa. Look at that!"

"Why are you whispering, Elen-? Oh, that is so cute!"

"I know!"

"Should we wake them?"

"Nah, let them sleep"

"Actually, I have a better idea…"

"Wait…are you really going to…?"

"Shhh! Yes. Hopefully, it won't wake Reno…"

"Wake Reno? Are you talking about the same Reno that slept through a fireworks show when he had front row seats?"

"Guess you're right. But let's not wake Marlene, then"

"Okay, then. Only take a couple of photos then put the camera away! I want a copy of those photos for blackmail and I don't want Reno destroying the camera"

"Ha! Okay, only a quick couple of shots…"

"Oh no! Marlene's waking up! Hurry!"

"Got 'em!"

Marlene climbed off of Reno, bounced onto the floor, and walked sleepily over to Tifa.

"Hi, Tifa…"

"Hello, Marlene! Did you have fun?"

"Uh huh! Isn't he pretty?"

"Yes, he is! You did a good job"

"Thanks!"

"Why don't you go upstairs and change into your pajamas to get ready for bed, okay?"

"Alright!"

Marlene scampered upstairs; away from a snickering Elena and Tifa. A few seconds later, Reno sat up and yawned.

"Oh, you're back, yo", he said groggily. "Have a good time?"

"Um…yeah", Elena said with a giggle.

Reno stretched and rubbed his eyes. Elena laughed and Tifa sighed.

"Aw…He smudged the makeup…", said Tifa.

The red-headed Turk froze, then looked down at his makeup-stained hands. He sprang off of the couch and raced to a mirror.

"What the-"

"You look really pretty, Reno!", Elena commented.

At first, Reno looked furious, but then he calmed himself and smiled at Tifa and Elena.

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time, but I have to go see a little girl named Marlene, because now, apparently, I'm a _big _girl!", he said in an eerily calm voice while heading towards the stairs.

No longer able to contain their laughter, the two young women fell onto the floor in a big fit of laughter.

Never again will Reno fall asleep while babysitting.

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A/N: Yay! Another chapter all done! Okay, pictures of sleeping Marlene together with a really pretty sleeping Reno on the couch of the Seventh Heaven go to: Its Good to be a Myth, Writingcritter, Noxee, FuN SiZeD, SapphireXSerpent, JaDeD with ScArS, Laili the Turk, Aviada, Lady Liliana,and Amimegustamuchascosas (And some of the others I've accidentally forgot to list...)! Thank you guys so much for always reviewing! I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY REVIEWERS!


	28. Oops

**Disclaimer: **I do now own FF7, although I wish for it every day!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 28**

Reno cheerfully walked into the newly renovated employee lounge for his morning cup of coffee. To his surprise, Elena was quietly curled up on the sofa in the corner, fast asleep. The red-headed Turk smiled softly at her and silently made his coffee.

'She probably worked all night…', Reno thought to himself.

When he finished, he sat on the sofa next to the slumbering Elena, put his feet up on the nearby coffee table, and drank his coffee. As he was relaxing, he noticed Elena's coffee mug on the table near his feet, half full of cold coffee.

'She must have been working hard'.

Suddenly, Elena shouted something in her sleep, causing Reno to jump up and knock the icy cold coffee off the table and onto the newly carpeted floor.

"Oh, #$", Reno gasped.

Elena mumbled to herself, then curled up even more.

'If Rufus or Tseng see what I've done, they'd be furious!', he thought. 'Unless…'

A mischievous smirk appeared on Reno's face as he looked over at Elena. He picked up Elena's coffee mug, placed it horizontally on the coffee table, slowly picked up the blonde's small, soft hand, and gently placed it on the tilted coffee mug.

'Perfect!'

When he finished, he tip-toed out of the lounge as quickly as he could, trying not to wake his fellow Turk up.

"Elena! Tseng wants to see you!", Reno shouted from the hallway.

Elena woke up, looked over at the cold spilled coffee, and gasped.

"Oh, $#! Tseng and Rufus are going to kill me!"

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A/N: Reno's soooo bad! Don't forget to review!


	29. Coloring

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7 or the show where I got the idea for this chapter!

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**Reno's Life: Chp 29**

It was a bright sunny day, and a certain blonde Turk was headed to the lounge for her morning cup of coffee. Upon entering the lounge, she found Reno sitting at one of the tables surrounded by crayons and black and white pictures of animals.

"Reno…What are you doing?", asked Elena.

"Coloring, yo", responded Reno.

"I can see that. But why, Reno?"

"Because it's relaxing. I saw Denzel and Marlene doing it while I was babysitting them, and it seemed fun. So I wanted to try it, and it's pretty calming, yo"

Elena shrugged, made herself a cup of coffee, and sat across from the red-headed Turk. After watching him for a while, she became a little curious.

"Alright, I want in", Elena confessed, snatching a green crayon and a picture of a chocobo.

"I knew you'd want to join me sooner or later, yo"

So the two Turks colored together for a while.

_Reno's right! Coloring _is _relaxing_, Elena thought.

Just then, Elena reached for the orange crayon, but Reno picked it up first.

"Um…Reno? May I have the orange crayon?", Elena asked.

"No can do, 'Lena. I'm using that crayon, yo"

"But Reno, you just picked it up and placed it next to you. You're not using it! I just need it for a second!"

"Why, yo? What's the _emergency_?"

"My chocobo's eating a carrot! Carrots are orange! Crayon, please"

Reno picked up a brown crayon and tossed it at Elena.

"Here. Brown. Give that bird a cigar, yo"

Elena threw the crayon to the floor.

"No! I want him to have a carrot!"

The blonde stood up from her seat and snatched the orange crayon. Reno stood up also and held onto the precious crayon tightly.

"Mine!"

"No, mine, yo!"

"Give it to me!"

"No, you give it to me!"

Elena growled at Reno and Reno growled back.

"That's it!", Elena shouted. "TSENG!"

"Yes, Elena?", Tseng called from his office.

"Reno won't give me the orange crayon!", she whined.

"Reno, give her the crayon!"

"No way, yo!"

"Give her the crayon, or you're fired! I have no time to be dealing with this right now!"

Reno contemplated this for a while, then let the crayon go and stomped out of the lounge.

"Gosh! You're such a baby! Such a baby!", Reno shouted in anger as he left.

Elena shrugged, smiled down at her drawing, and continued coloring in peace.

Reno was right. Coloring was fun!

--------------------------------

A/N: That chapter was fun to type! I don't remember which show I saw this on, but I thought it would be a cool idea for a chapter. What did you think? Please review!


	30. Reno

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FF7!

--------------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 30**

Elena had no idea why she liked him.

He played tricks on her.

He always stole the last donut (or grossed her out until she lost her appetite completely).

He steals her lunch.

He teases her.

He writes disgusting stories between her and Tifa.

He tried to play games during work hours.

He roller skated around the office during the busiest times.

Sometimes he even made her look like a fool in front of other people.

"Hey, 'Lena?"

Elena stopped in her tracks and turned around to face Reno.

"What is it?", she asked grumpily. _'He's probably here to bother me. He _has _been away on a mission for the past week'_

Reno surprised the blonde Turk by running up and hugging her tightly.

"I missed you, yo", he said softly.

Elena stood still for a while in shock until she happily returned the hug.

Although Reno did all those bad things to Elena, he was absolutely crazy about her.

And she gladly returned those feelings.

-----------------------------------------

A/N: Yay! I am back! Well, for the past couple of months, I have been extremely busy with my senior thesis research paper. At school, we have 'Thesis Week' where all seniors work on their thesis and the teachers can help them.

So I decided to have something called 'Turk-ey Week', where I post a new chapter every day for a week! And what better time to start Turk-ey Week than this week? I hope all of my fans enjoy! (Please review!)


	31. Song

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7 or Sesame Street!

------------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 31**

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum…"

"Reno, stop humming"

"Sorry, 'Lena. I just have this song stuck in my head and I don't know the name of it"

"I see. Please try to sing it to yourself"

"Sorry, yo"

A few minutes of silence followed, but Reno was dying to know the name of the song.

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"Reno!"

"What?"

"Stop singing!"

"Sorry, yo! But you gotta admit, you've heard that song before, right?"

"…Well, yes I have, but-"

"So do you know the name of it, yo?"

"No, I don't. Now would you cut it out?"

"…Fine, yo"

A few more minutes of silence and then…

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what IS the name of that song?", Elena sang softly.

"It goes la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, something something birds", Reno added.

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-dee, I wish I remembered the words"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, I'd like to sing right along!"

"I've heard it said, with words and music, a fellow can't go wrong"

"So la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, we need the name of that song!"

"It goes la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, something, something nice"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-dee, I think it repeats itself twice!"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-dee, I know the name of that song!"

"It's called--now wait, I think I got it!"

"Oh, no--You must be wrong!"

"Oh…"

"So la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, what's the name of that song?"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de, they keep on singing that song"

"They go La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, they start it all over again"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, something shining above!"

"La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, something something love!"

"We can't help singing La-de-da-de-dum loud and clear and strong!"

While they were singing, Reno's cell phone rang and he left the room, leaving a poor unsuspecting Elena singing all alone in her office.

"But La-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, la-de-da-de-dum, Laaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Elena stopped and looked around for Reno, but he was nowhere to be found. Embarassed, Elena smoothed out her skirt and sat down. A few seconds later, she was humming the song again.

"What _IS _the name of that song?"

-----------------------------------

A/N: Ah, I remember that song from when I was little. It was stuck in my head when I wrote this chapter. It was a lot of fun! I'm surprised I remembered it! Enjoy! Please review!


	32. Heelys

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7!

-----------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 31**

It was a bright, sunny day at the ShinRa company. Everything was calm, quiet, and peaceful, just as Elena liked it.

"Hi, 'Lena!", Reno chirped as he walked into the lounge.

"Hello, Reno!", Elena greeted back with a smile.

"You're awfully cheerful, yo!"

"Of course!", said Elena. "After work today, I'm going to see my little nephew! I missed him so much! Him and his mother live in Wutai, so I don't see them much"

As Elena was leaving the lounge, Reno opened his eyes wide in surprise.

"How do you do that, 'Lena?", he asked.

Elena stopped and turned toward the red haired Turk.

"Do what?"

Reno took Elena's shoulders and gave her a soft push forward. Elena slid forward a little, then stopped.

"That! You're moving, but you're not walking! You're sliding! How do you do that?"

"Oh!", Elena said with a smile. "I'm wearing these!"

Elena picked up her foot and revealed wheels on the heels of her shoes.

"They're called Heelys. My nephew gave them to me on my birthday and I want to show him how much I like them by wearing them when I see him later today"

"They're so cool!", Reno exclaimed.

"Thanks!", said Elena with a smile. "They're a lot of fun! But they take some getting used to. I still trip a little sometimes. I'm not quite used to having wheels on the bottom of my feet"

"They look awesome!", Reno commented.

"Thank you, Reno", said Elena. "I'll see you later!"

Elena turned around to leave and Reno had a mischievous look on his face. He giggled as he pushed Elena forward.

"What the-"

Elena stumbled forward, then staggered backwards, tipped over to the side a little, then fell onto her back.

"Reno! What the heck was that for?!"

Reno laughed, then offered to help Elena up. Elena took his hand and he tipped her over again.

The blonde Turk gasped, stumbled, then fell back onto the ground.

"REEEE-NOOO!"

Reno laughed hysterically and fell onto the floor beside her.

"You're right, 'Lena!", Reno said between the fits of laughter. "Those things are fun!"

--------------------------------

A/N: Yay! Story 3 of Turk-ey week! This chapter was based on a true story from my cousin's birthday party. But now he's mastered the Heelys (and I can't tip him over anymore...).

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to all! (Thankies for all the reviews!)


	33. Delicious

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7!

---------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 32**

As Elena passed by Reno's office, she stared at him strangely. He was shuffling through everything on his desk and even emptying out some of the drawers.

"Reno?", she said.

"You called, yo?", Reno answered, looking up.

"…Why do you have a piece of beef jerky behind your ear?"

Reno took the beef jerky down and stared at it for a few seconds.

"…So _that's _where my pencil went…"

-----------------------------

A/N: YAY! Aaaaaand it's back! I've been trying to update this for days! Sorry about missing the rest of Turk-ey week. To make it up to you guys, I'm updating the rest of the chapters today! Woohoo!!! Please review!


	34. Cookies

**Reno's Life: Chp 33**

"We're in sooo much trouble!"

"…Tseng's going to be angry…"

Elena and Rude looked down at the nearly empty cookie box.

To celebrate completing their latest mission, Rufus bought the Turks a box of one hundred delicious chocolate chip cookies, and now there were only four left.

"…I think we got a little carried away…"

"I know, Rude, but they were so good…"

Just as the two Turks were trying to figure out what to do, Reno walked in.

"Good morning, everyone!", he said cheerfully. "I heard about the cookies and I came right away! I'm extra hungry, yo!"

Reno walked over to the box and looked into it with a shocked expression.

"You hogs!", he exclaimed. "You ate all the cookies, yo!"

"We just got a little carried away! We'll buy some more!", Elena said.

The red haired Turk looked angrily at Elena, picked up two cookies in each hand, and turned his back towards her.

"Well, until you do, these are mine!", he said, shoving two cookies into his mouth.

As Reno ate the two cookies, Tseng walked in and looked at the empty box. It did not take long until Tseng thought he knew exactly who was to blame.

"Reno", he said in a voice full of authority.

Reno froze and turned towards Tseng.

"Yessir?", he answered with a mouth full of cookies.

"I can't believe you ate all of those cookies", Tseng scolded. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"Buhsir!Idint!Itwhuzlenanruuu!", Reno struggled to say.

"Reno, you pig!", Elena said, eyes filling with crocodile tears. "You ate all the cookies! I wanted to eat at least one…"

Rude remained silent the whole time, but decided to play along by nodding.

"Reno, I expect you to march down to that bakery and pick up one hundred more chocolate chip cookies!", Tseng ordered.

Reno looked shocked and tried to explain his situation again, but it was no use.

_Moral_: NEVER _shove more than one cookie in your mouth at a time. It may end up costing you one hundred more. _

_------------------------_

A/N: Poor Reno! This, and the previous chapter, are based on true stories. Yes, it was me that almost ate my pencil in the last chapter, and I accidentally got my cousin in trouble for eating too many cookies (poor guy...). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review!


	35. Pants

**Reno's Life: Chp 34**

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning and all was peaceful. Tifa happily finished making a sandwich for lunch and carried it out of the kitchen and into the living room to eat while watching her favorite TV show.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Tifa put the sandwich down onto the coffee table with a frown and walked over to the door.

"Yes?", Tifa said, opening the door.

"Yo!", Reno said cheerfully. "What's up, Tifa?"

"…Hello, Reno", Tifa said flatly. Usually when Reno came to visit, the fridge was empty when he left.

Reno was standing in front of the door with a big pile of clothing in his arms. He was dressed casually, so the pile of clothing was most likely his uniform.

"Aw, don't be too excited Tifa", Reno said sarcastically. "I just came over to do a little laundry".

"Laundry?", said Tifa. "What?"

"Do you remember the time I left the chocolate bar in my pants when I put it in the dryer and it smelled like chocolate for a week, yo?"

"Yes"

Reno smirked and put a chocolate bar in the pair of pants.

"The smell's gone, yo"

-------------------------

A/N: I dunno if doing this will actually make your pants smell or just ruin them. I don't suggest trying it! I heard about somebody trying it once, though. I don't remember where from nor do I remember the results...Anyway, please review!


	36. Quiz

**Reno's Life: Chp 35**

"Reno!", Elena chirped. "Just the guy I wanted to see!"

Reno glanced over at Elena and put his feet up on his desk.

"Sorry, 'Lena", he said. "I already have a date for Friday night. But I am free on Sat-"

"No, Reno", she said, holding out a small book. "Tseng is giving us a test on the ShinRa safety rules later and I want to make sure I'm ready. So could you quiz me?".

The red-haired Turk put his feet down, took the small book from Elena, and flipped through the pages.

"Wow. I forgot all about that, yo", Reno said. "You read this entire book?"

"Yep!", the blonde said proudly.

"Why don't you ask Rude to quiz you, yo?"

"He's busy right now…", she said sadly. "So could you quiz me? Just ask me anything!"

"Alright, yo", Reno answered, looking through the book and finally stopping on a page in the middle. "First question!"

Elena sat on the other side of the desk and looked ready.

"What is a code fifteen?"

"A code fifteen is-"

"You got ten seconds! GO!"

The female Turk looked shocked. "T-Ten seconds? But Tseng won't-"

"Five…four…"

"Reno! Don't-"

"Wrong! Next question! Hm…What do you do when one of Hojo's experiments escape? Five seconds!"

"Five seconds?! But the first question was ten-"

"Time's up! Next! What do we do when there's a dangerous chemical spill in the lab? Three seconds!"

"Whenthere'sachemicalspill, asTurks, wemakesureeveryone-"

"Time's up! Next question! What do we do when the power goes out in the entire building and the generators break down? Two seconds!!"

"Reno! This-"

"Buzzzz!! WRONG! Next! Wh-"

"HOLD IT!"

Reno froze and looked up at Elena.

"What's wrong? I'm quizzing you, yo", Reno said innocently.

"Forget it", Elena said angrily, snatching the book away. "I'll quiz myself".

Elena stormed out of Reno's office and the red-head put his feet back up on the desk.

"Psh…", he huffed. "Not my fault she doesn't know the safety rules".

--------------------------

A/N: YAY! And this chapter ends Turk-ey week. Don't worry! I'll update whenever I'm able to! I hope you all enjoyed the chapters so far! Please review!


	37. Christmas Trees

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7.

-------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 36**

"Rude, move that angel a little to the left"

"Elena, where do I put this?"

"Over there, Tseng. And make sure to wrap the lights around there"

"…Is this such a good idea, Elena?"

"Of course! I'm sure Reno would love it. Oh! And put the candy canes over there, there, and um…there!".

"Hm…maybe another one…there?"

"Excellent idea, Rude! Okay, now plug it in!"

Tseng picked up a wire and plugged it into an outlet in the wall. A bright light suddenly lit up the entire room.

"It's beautiful!!"

"Elena! He's waking up!"

"Ack! Let's get out of here!"

Elena snapped a quick picture and left Reno's office with Tseng and Rude.

Reno opened his eyes sleepily and yawned. When he went to stretch, he noticed that his arm was wrapped in a long rope of Christmas lights.

"What the-?"

The red haired Turk sat up and glanced over at his reflection in the mirror across from him. He was heavily decorated like a Christmas tree. His body was wrapped in Christmas lights, candy canes hung from his clothes (along with some Christmas ornaments), and to top it all off, a pure white angel was placed on top of his head.

On closer inspection of his face, someone had scribbled in green and red on his left cheek, "Merry Christmas, Reno" and on the other cheek, it read, "Love, 'Lena" with a small smiley face underneath it. Reno stared at himself in the mirror for a long while and growled.

"Oh, she is sooooo getting coal in her stocking this year, yo".

-------------------

A/N: Poor, poor Christmas tree Reno...Hehehehehehe. It must have looked adorable. I want a picture!! Thankies to all my reviewers! (Please review!)


	38. Mistletoe

**Reno's Life: Chp 37**

"Hey, 'Lena?"

"Oh! Reno! Hi! I didn't see you there. Um, what is it?"

"I'll need a picture of you, yo"

"Why?"

"So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas"

Elena froze in her tracks and stared disbelievingly at Reno. She held back her laughter as best as she could before she responded.

"I don't think so, Reno. You haven't been such a good boy all year!"

"Okay, so _maybe _I've done a few bad things over the past year. Santa'll forgive me, yo"

"A _few _bad things?"

"Yeah, a few!"

"Reno, if I went over to the nearest orphanage, stole their Christmas tree, then burned it down, it wouldn't hold a candle to all the bad things you've done this year".

Reno suddenly stopped walking and stopped Elena with him. The red-haired Turk smirked and pointed at something on the ceiling.

"Well, maybe I won't get any presents this year, yo. But there is one thing that Santa has no control over".

Elena looked up and flinched on the inside.

_Mistletoe_.

Somebody has hung mistletoe from the ceiling and they were both standing directly underneath it. Dang.

Reno smiled smugly at Elena.

"I'm ready for my kiss, yo", he said, closing his eyes and puckering up.

Elena thought for a moment. This _was _Reno, after all; the same guy who tormented her all year long. But maybe, just _maybe_, since it was the holiday season and all, he deserved a break. Maybe.

The blonde Turk thought about the issue a bit longer and decided she was getting nowhere. She then shrugged and kissed Reno right on the lips. Reno's eyes snapped open in shock, but then fluttered shut as they continued the kiss. After finally pulling away, Elena smirked at him.

"Merry Christmas, Reno".

----------------

A/N: Happy Holidays, everyone!! Ah, I'm so happy it's the holidays! And today, December 24th, I'm officially one year older! How awesome is that?! Well, I hope you enjoyed these holiday chapters! Please review!!


	39. April Fools

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7, even though I asked Santa for it for Christmas...

------------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 38**

Elena rushed down the halls with a pile of reports in her arms until somebody caused her to freeze in her tracks.

"Reno, what the heck do you think you're doing?"

Reno was standing behind Elena, holding her up by the back of her shirt. He was carefully inspecting the label, smiling slightly.

"What is it, Reno? I'm busy"

"Just as I thought, yo. 'Made in Heaven' "

Elena blushed as Reno let her go.

"R-Reno, that was awfully sw-"

"April Fools!! Ahahahaha!"

The blonde's eye twitched and Reno suddenly looked uneasy.

"I-It was just a joke, yo. No need to- Elena, no!!"

_Later that day…_

Tseng was on his way to the president's office, when he came across something that caused him to raise an eyebrow.

"Reno, why are you lying on the ground? And…are those the reports Elena was supposed to give me earlier…in your pants?"

"…You would have thought all the pages would have cushioned the kick to the groin, yo…"

**----Bonus Chapter: Cloud and Zack----**

Cloud was innocently walking down the hallway in the Shinra building, busy thinking about whatever was going on in his little chocobo head, when suddenly, somebody stampeded towards him.

"CLOUD!", the person shouted, terrifying the poor young boy.

Cloud cringed, but the person did not run into him. They stopped just a few inches from him and held out a stack of papers.

"…Zack?", Cloud said, slowly standing up straight again.

"Hello, Cloud! Wanna play a game?", asked the dark haired Soldier.

"…Sure"

"Pick a page, any page"

Zack fanned out the stack of paper and Cloud took one out from the middle. Zack piled them up again and told Cloud to put the chosen paper on top. Cloud placed the sheet on top and Zack thrust the stack into his hands.

"Hold the deck", he ordered.

Cloud looked at the papers confusedly and Zack made a run for it. Cloud raised an eyebrow and watched his best friend run down the hallway and stumble around the corner.

"I wonder what that was about…"

"Would you mind telling me what you're doing with my paperwork, Strife?", a voice suddenly boomed behind the poor unsuspecting blonde.

Cloud froze, then turned around slowly, finding himself face to face with none other than Sephiroth.

"S-S-Sephiroth?"

"What are you planning to do with my paperwork?"

"I-But Zack…He-I don't…I didn't-!"

"I've heard enough. Strife, follow me to my office. Since you're so interested in paperwork, I have a few things for you to do"

"But I-!"

"Strife. Office. Now. I don't want to hear it. Understood?"

"…Yes sir…"

Zack peeked from around the corner and smiled evilly. He held up a piece of cardboard with something scribbled on it in Sharpie, which caused Cloud's expression to go from confused to livid:

'April Fools : P'

---------------------

A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! After a really, really long disappearance, I'm finally back. I've been busy with so many things, but now that they've been straightened out, I'm able to write again! Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed these April Fools chapters as much as I've enjoyed writing them! Please review!


	40. Rhythm

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FF7!

----------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 40**

Elena gasped, then stood up from her chair.

"It…It's done! I finally finished those reports! Woohoo!!"

The blonde cheered, tossed some papers into the air in celebration, and began to dance.

"I'm done! I'm done, I'm done, I'm DONE!! Yay!!"

She twirled, jumped around her desk, and sang.

Just as Elena was going through her moment of bliss, Reno was passing by her office. He stopped, took a few steps back, then looked into the room again. He watched her bounce around for a while, then raised an eyebrow.

"Wow…Gloria Estefan was right. Eventually, the rhythm _will _get you"

--------------------------

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I heard this saying somewhere and just had to use it! I found it to be very funny. Thankies for all of your reviews! They're great motivation to get chapters done. Please review!


	41. Voodoo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7, no matter how hard I wish.

------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 40**

"Elena, are you in here?"

"Yes, sir"

Tseng opened the door to Elena's office and walked in with a bright red fluffy thing in his hand. Elena looked up from her work and gave her boss a sweet smile.

"Elena, we found something…'interesting' in a house we busted into earlier"

"'Interesting', sir?"

"Yes. Have a look"

Tseng held out a small rag doll with bright red hair and patches of navy blue fabric covering his upper body and legs. A small smile was stitched on the bottom of the face and it had two shiny emerald buttons for eyes. Elena picked up the doll and gasped in awe.

"This…This is…"

"I know. It looks a lot like Reno"

"It looks like a voodoo doll of Reno. I wonder why somebody would do that…"

"Somebody probably made it of him to get revenge. But I don't really believe in that kind of stuff and I'm sure Reno doesn't either"

"Hm….it sure is a good looking doll, though. I've never seen such fine craftsmanship on a rag doll"

"Well, I have to fill out a report, so I must go. You can keep the doll if you wish to. See you later, Elena"

"Good bye, sir"

Tseng left and Elena stared at the doll a little bit. It was eerie that it looked so much like the red-haired Turk. She turned around in her seat so she was facing the window behind her desk and her back was to the door.

"This doll is kind of cute. I think I may just keep it"

The blonde Turk began to play with the doll's hair, when the real Reno peeked into her office with a mischievous grin. He quietly pushed the door open just enough to sneak in and quietly made his way to the center of the room.

'She's gonna freak when I jump up and shout 'boo'!', he thought to himself.

Reno stopped in his tracks once he saw Elena holding a rag doll that strongly resembled him up above her head.

'What the? Is that…a doll of me?!'

Elena took the doll down and smiled.

"This thing is too cute! Much cuter than the real thing. Maybe he'll be cute too if his mouth was stitched shut"

Reno squinted his eyes in anger and snuck forward.

'I'm going to give her such a scare!'

Suddenly, Reno froze and stood up straight. His arms were pressed closely to his sides and he smiled.

'I feel so warm…and safe…I like this'

Elena hugged the doll and gave it a small kiss on the forehead.

"You're cuddly too. I really like you!"

The feeling disappeared and Reno stood dazed.

'What the heck just happened?'

Elena marched the doll across the windowsill again and sang a sweet, soft song. Reno's eyes opened wide when he suddenly began marching back and forth across her room.

'This is freaky! What is going on here?!'

As the blonde sat the Reno doll down, a large bird flew up to the window and startled Elena, causing the doll to go plummeting to the ground.

"Oh no, my doll!!"

Suddenly, Reno fell to the ground and screamed, making Elena jump almost ten feet into the air.

"Reno! What in the name of Sephiroth are you doing in here, screaming like-!"

Elena instantly became pale and glanced towards the window.

"…If you're screaming because of why I think you are, this isn't going to end well…"

--------------------------

A/N: Doesn't that Reno doll sound just adorable? I wish I had one! Maybe I should make one myself...Nah, it'll come out all wierd looking...Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review!


	42. Bargaining

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Final Fantasy 7.

---------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 41**

"Hey, Uncle Reno?"

"Yeah, Denzel?"

"Can Marlene and I borrow your EMR to play tag?"

Reno nearly choked on his beer.

"W-What?!"

"We wanna use your EMR to play tag! Can we???"

"No way, yo! It's too dangerous! Cloud and Tifa trusted Elena and I to babysit you tonight and we can't let anything bad happen or we'll be in a heck of a lot of trouble, so the answer is no"

"Awww…"

"Sorry, yo"

"Well, then…Could Marlene and I at least have another cupcake for dessert?"

Reno thought for a while, then smiled mischievously.

"Oho, I see what you did"

"What did I do?"

"You started out with something big, then bargained down to something smaller, didn't you?"

"…."

"Yeah, well, I invented that, so you can't fool me"

"…Can we still have the cupcakes?"

"…Sure, why not"

Denzel ran off cheering and almost knocked Elena over as he ran into the kitchen she was exiting. Elena smiled warmly at the young boy, then took a seat next to Reno on the couch.

"Wow, they're really well-behaved, aren't they Reno?"

"Yeah, thank goodness"

Elena found the remote to the TV and began watching the news. Reno looked away indifferently, when suddenly he came up with an idea.

"'Lenaaaaa", he whined playfully.

"Yes, Reno?"

"The kids are busy in the kitchen and we're all alone. Do you want to-?"

"No", Elena answered, cutting him off before he even finished. She knew Reno well and knew exactly what he was going to ask.

Reno stood silent in shock at the swiftness of the answer. He shook it off and continued with his original idea.

"Oh…"

Elena ignored him and continued watching TV.

"'lena?"

"Yes, Reno?"

"If you don't want to do _that_, then…could I have a little peck on the cheek instead, yo?"

Elena looked at him and thought for a while. She stared into his eyes and he stared directly back at her; none dropping their gaze for a second.

"…Alright"

The blonde leaned forward and pecked Reno on the cheek. Reno inwardly cheered when suddenly, the children pounced on the Turks and snuggled up against them, watching the news along with their babysitters. Reno turned his head and looked at Elena with a smile.

'_Heh…I invented it… and I mastered it, yo!'_

_--------------------------_

A/N: Okay, I'll admit it. I have used this type of 'negotiating' before and I bet you all have too when you were younger (or maybe even now)! And it is effective! ...Sometimes. Anyway, thank you all very much for reading this chapter. Please review!


	43. Fight

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7. Now quit trying to rub it in...

------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 42**

"No way, yo!"

"Yes way!"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"

Cloud and Reno had been sitting comfortably on the couch in the living room of Cloud's apartment, and now, things have gotten a little …tense.

"Bring it, yo!"

"Hey, delivery for Reno. It's brought!"

The two men stood up from the couch and faced each other with angry looks on their face and their fists raised, ready to battle. Reno threw the first punch, only to have his fist caught. Cloud took advantage and flipped the Turk onto the ground.

Reno fell onto the coffee table, instantly breaking it in two and Cloud smiled smugly. That smile was soon wiped off his face when Reno attacked his legs and Cloud tumbled to the ground. Reno moved up and pinned Cloud's arms above his head.

"Do it, yo!"

"NO!"

Cloud rolled and flipped them over. He was on top of Reno, pinning his arms and legs down with his weight.

"Well?"

"I'll never give up, yo!"

They continued to fight for dominance when they suddenly broke apart and stood up. They raised their fists again and growled.

"Give up yet, blondie?"

"Never. I'll never give up to the likes of you!"

Cloud dashed forward and tried to punch Reno in the face, but the Turk was too fast and jumped to the side. Cloud missed and Reno grabbed him from behind, putting him in a headlock.

"Callin' it quits, chocobo head?"

Cloud kicked backwards, striking Reno in the knee. Reno's grip loosened and Cloud tackled him to the ground.

Suddenly, they heard a sigh from the doorway. Tifa walked into the room and up to the tv.

"What channel, you guys?", she asked with a sigh.

"Four", they said in unison.

Tifa changed the channel and shook her head.

"You two really ought to find the remote to this tv…"

She left the room, mumbling to herself. Reno and Cloud watched the show for a while, then sighed.

"This is boring, yo. Let's watch something else"

"Alright, go change it"

"YOU change it!"

"In your dreams!"

And the battle raged on.

--------------------------

A/N: I wonder who's going to change the channel. Or is Tifa going to have to come back before they kill eachother? Oh well. Anyway, thankies so much for the reviews! They're great motivation!


	44. Questions

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7.

-------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 44**

"Reno, could you do me a favor?", Tseng asked his fellow Turk as he passed him in the hall.

Reno stopped walking with Rude by his side and took a bunch of folders from his boss.

"Um…sure. What is it?"

"Could you file these for me?"

"Alright. Where, yo?"

"In the files in Rufus' office"

"Okay. Um….under what name?"

"Under 'Missions Completed'"

"All of them?"

"Yes"

"Which filing cabinet in Rufus' office, yo?"

"The big one"

"The one against the wall?"

"No, the green one"

"Oh, the one by the window"

"No, the one by the plant"

"I see. File these in the green filing cabinet against the wall under the name 'New Missions', right sir?"

Tseng sighed impatiently and took the folders from Reno.

"Forget it. I'll do it", he said, walking to the elevator to do the work himself.

Once Tseng was gone, Reno struggled to hold back his laughter and Rude slightly smiled.

"I told you it works!", Reno said, finally giving into his giggles. "Asking too many questions always gets you less work, yo!"

Suddenly, Elena walked up to Reno and held out a few envelopes.

"Reno, I'm going to need you to send these out for me"

"Okay, yo", he said, taking the envelopes. "Where-"

"Reno, I swear, if you start with that question junk again, I'm going to give you a one way ticket to the lifestream"

Reno shut his mouth and nodded. Elena smiled sweetly and walked back to her office. Rude smirked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, so it doesn't work _all _the time, yo"

---------------------

A/N: Yes, it's true. Sometimes, when you ask too many questions, you get less work! I guess they just don't want somebody who doesn't know anything about anything to do favors for them.

Anyway, I'm finally free! I was so tied up with schoolwork, I had no time to post these chapters. But now I'm done and there's a bunch of updates ready to go! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Please review!


	45. Men

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7.

---------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 45**

"How do I look, Tifa?"

"Beautiful, Yuffie! That kimono is breathtaking!"

Yuffie twirled in front of Tifa and laughed.

"I can't wait for the summer festival!", she giggled.

Suddenly, the doors to the bar opened and a certain little red-head walked in, looking for a drink after a hard day's work.

"Oi, Tifa", Reno said. "I could really use an ice cold-"

The Turk froze in his tracks. He stared with both his eyes and jaws wide open.

"Oh, baby", he said with a low growl.

Yuffie blushed and turned away shyly.

"You're absolutely beautiful, yo…Stunning…Gorgeous…I can't take my eyes off of you"

"Oh, Reno, I-"

Reno walked right past Yuffie and up to the bar counter. He picked up a big turkey and tomato sandwich and took a big bite out of it.

"Oh, you know what wearing mayo does to me!", he said with a full mouth.

Yuffie growled disgustedly and looked away from Reno. Tifa smiled and put an arm around Yuffie sympathetically.

"He's a guy, Yuffie. You'll get used to it".

-----------------

A/N: Ah, the sad truth. Poor Yuffie...I feel her pain! Anyway, thankies to you all for the reviews! Suggestions are always welcome!


	46. Static Electricity

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7...

----------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 46**

"Hey, 'Lena, can I-"

_Zap!_

"Owch! Reno! That hurt!"

"What hurt? That little tap on the shoulder?"

"Yes! You zapped me!"

"Oh? I did?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry, yo…"

"…It's okay. So, what were you going to ask me?"

"…I forgot, yo"

"Well, come back when you remember"

"Sure"

A mischievous grin formed on the red-head's face.

_Rub, rub, rub. Zap!_

"Reno!"

"What?"

"You zapped me again!"

"Sorry!"

"…Whatever. Do you remember that question?"

"No"

"Then what are you still doing here?"

"…I dunno"

"Get out of my office and return when you DO remember! I'm busy right now"

"…Okay"

_Rub, rub, rub. Zap!_

"RENO!"

"What?"

"You're doing that on purpose! Well, two can play at that game!"

"What do you mean, yo?"

_Rub, rub, rub. Zap!_

"Ow! 'Lena! That does hurt! Fine, you wanna play that game? Then it's go time, yo!"

_Rub, rub, rub, rub. Zap!!_

"OWCH!"

The two Turks began furiously rubbing their feet on the ground as hard as they could, desperately gathering as much static electricity as they could.

"Ha!"

"Take this!"

_ZAP!_

"Gyah!!"

They both jumped back and rubbed their hands to soothe the pain.

"Giving up yet, 'Lena?"

"Never!"

_Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub._

As they continued to drag their feet across the carpet, Tseng strolled by the office with an armful of work. He stopped and watched curiously as he saw his co-workers slowly inch forward with their index fingers extended towards one another.

_ZAAAAAAAAP!_

A bright light filled the office as Elena and Reno were thrown in opposite directions. When they finally recovered, they sat up from the floor and gave each other dirty looks. They instantly stood up again and rubbed their feet on the carpet once again.

Tseng sighed and continued walking towards his office.

'_How did those two ever become Turks?'_

_-----------------------------_

A/N: Static electricity is painful, but fun. Thank you all for the reviews. They're great motivation!!


	47. TV

**Reno's Life: Chp 47**

"Hey, Reno, I couldn't find the-"

Reno swiftly changed the channel on the TV as soon as Cloud entered the room. Cloud stopped and curiously raised an eyebrow.

"Reno, are you watching the Gaia Stock Report?"

"…Yes"

"Since when have you been interested in stock?"

"I've always been interested in that, yo"

"Oh, really?"

"Uh…yes"

Cloud strolled over to the couch and picked up the remote.

"Wanna tell me anything before I hit the 'flashback' button on the remote?"

"Um…I think Tifa likes to watch 'Bloofy the Chocobo' when you're gone, yo"

----------------

A/N: I think we all like to watch children's shows once in a while, even if it's secretly. I know I do!

Anyway, I was thinking about starting a new "Ask Reno" fic, but I'm not too sure about that. I mean, are those types of fics against the rules or are they okay? I really want to write one. It sounds like fun! What do you guys think? Please review!!


	48. Cheese

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or Arthur!

-----------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 48**

Laughter erupted from inside the employee cafeteria. Curious as to what was going on, Rufus (who just happened to be walking by) peeked inside.

Reno was standing on a table, laughing and telling jokes. Everyone around him was in stitches; nearly choking on their lunches and eagerly awaiting Reno's next clever antic.

"And here's a new short song I came up with!", Reno said, trying to hold back his own laughter and wiping a tear from his eye.

Rufus smiled, walked inside, and took a seat, also eager to see what Reno was going to do next.

"Oh, everyone thinks that Rufus stinks, like a piece of yellow cheese! But I just say, that he's okay, as long as there's a breeze!"

Reno laughed, but everyone remained silent.

"What? Didn't think that was funny, yo? It took me all day to think of that one", he said, looking around.

Once Reno's eyes met Rufus', however, he suddenly became very, very, very pale.

"Um…hey, sir"

"Hello, Reno"

"Y-You're looking very handsome today, yo"

"Thank you, Reno"

"Uh…D-Did you need anything, sir?"

"No, no. Not really. I just came here to look for a volunteer for late night lab duty with Hojo, but I think I just found my volunteer"

---------------------

A/N: Poor Reno! The song he sang about Rufus was originally sung by D.W. in one of my favorite episodes of Arthur. Yes, I still do watch children's shows, though I hate the newer ones. I only watch the old classics from when I was a little girl. Those were the good ol' days...

Anyway, sorry I took so long to update. I was busy with a bunch of other things, including the "Ask Reno" fic. But don't worry! I won't let either of these fics die. I'll work as hard as I can on both. 'til next time! Please review!


	49. Early

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7.

------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 49**

Reno was _livid_.

Tseng had called him to work early because of an emergency mission he was supposed to go on that day. Four hours earlier than he usually came in, actually (Only two hours before he was _supposed _to be there).

Last night, he only had three hours of sleep, thanks to his noisy neighbors and their demonic toddler, so he was really tired. His alarm clock was broken, he woke up late, and skipped breakfast to be there on time, so he was really hungry. It was also raining cats and dogs outside and his car broke down, so he was soaked and cold. And on top of that, Tseng was not at work yet, so Reno had to wait.

Reno was hating life and was pretty sure life hated him.

The red-haired Turk took a seat in the hall near the employee gym and did the only thing he could. He waited for his boss.

Just when things were looking down for him, he saw the most beautiful sight of his life.

In the gym, Elena was stretching on her yoga mat. Her sky blue leotard fit her form perfectly, highlighting every precious curve on her body. Elena was doing leg stretches, so Reno noticed how long her legs were. Her Turk uniform usually hid her body, so Reno took in the view and burned it to his memory. Oh, how he wished he had a camera.

"Reno?"

Elena left the gym and walked over to Reno, as he was daydreaming, with a towel around her neck.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"E-Emergency mission, yo"

"Ah, I see. So you're waiting for Tseng, then. I saw him in the president's office late last night, so he may be a little late this morning. Well, good luck with your mission! See you later, Reno!"

Elena dashed off to the ladies' showers and Reno watched her leave, not taking his eyes off her body for a second.

"I have _**got **_to come to work early more often, yo"

----------------

A/N: Don't you hate it when you have to meet somebody somewhere and they are really late? I mean, how rude is that? Luckily for Reno, things turned out great!

Anyway, thank you all for your wonderful reviews! They're great motivation. Please continue to review!


	50. Mistake

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7.

-------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 50**

Reno rushed into the bar wearing a heavy winter coat with two little children following him, who were also wrapped up in multiple scarves and coats. A chilly wind blew in behind them, tossing up tiny shards of snow and ice.

Just as the three were safely inside the bar, Reno shut the door behind him.

"Whew, it's cold out there, yo", he said, pulling his hood down and shaking out his messy red hair.

"Mmmph", said the child with the puffy purple coat and fuzzy mittens.

Reno pulled the scarf away and pushed down the hood to the jacket.

"Thanks, Uncle Reno", Marlene said, dusting the snow out of her hair. "Um…could you help Denzel out? His coat keeps him from moving his arms much…"

"Sure, yo"

As soon as Reno took Denzel's scarf and hat off, his jaw dropped in shock.

"…Uncle Reno?"

"…Yes, Marlene?"

"That's…not Denzel"

"…I know"

A little boy with fluffy white hair looked up at Reno and frowned. He tightly clutched a robot toy to his chest and sat on the ground.

"Um…"

Reno put the children's winter gear back on them and took the boy's hand.

"Where are we going, Uncle Reno?"

"Back out, yo"

"To find Denzel?"

"Right. And as usual, not a word about this to Tifa"

------------------

A/N: Yay! Chapter 50! I honestly had no idea this fic would actually go that far. Thanks to you guys, I've been motivated to keep it going. It seems like just yesterday that I was scribbling out the first few chapters in the middle of health class. How time flies!

Anyway, the child that Reno took by accident was supposed to be Near from Death Note (Don't own that either!). I've been reading way too much Death Note lately. I don't really know how old Near is, but he looks like a kid to me and he kind of looked Denzel's size, so I used him. Isn't he cute? But he could never replace my beloved L!

Please review! Suggestions are always welcome.


	51. Phone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7, though if I did, Sephiroth and Reno would have their own game.

---------------------------

**Reno's Life: Chp 51**

"Sir, do you still have the trumpet you confiscated from Reno a few weeks ago?"

"I believe so, Elena. Why?"

"Can I borrow it for a quick moment?"

Tseng eyed Elena suspiciously then opened his desk drawer. He reached in and pulled out a small, but dangerously loud horn. Elena took it from him with a mischievous grin on her face.

"Thank you, sir!"

Elena then took out her cell phone and swiftly dialed a number. Tseng watched her patiently, curious as to what she was up to.

Once there was an answer on the other line, Elena sounded the horn as loudly as she could into the phone. A few doors down, Reno screamed loudly in pain. Elena smirked and sounded the horn again, making Reno shout for a second time.

"Elena, what are you doing?", Tseng asked with a look of complete shock on his face.

Elena did not answer him. Instead, she sounded the horn again, making Reno scream once more.

Tseng watched in shock as the blonde repeatedly sounded the horn and Reno shouted each and every time.

"Why isn't he just putting the phone down?!", Tseng asked Elena.

"He can't", Elena answered with an evil grin. "I put superglue on the receiver"

Never again will Reno mess with Elena during her certain time of the month.

--------------------------

A/N: I'm soooo happy to be back! I'm sorry for disappearing for a while. I'm starting college this year, so things have been pretty troublesome and I've been so busy. But I will not stop writing these! I have too much fun! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review!


	52. Flirt

**Reno's Life: Chp 52**

Elena was busily filing papers when suddenly she gasped.

"R-Reno! What are you doing?"

Reno was standing behind Elena and rubbing her shoulder blades.

"Oh, nothing, yo. Just checking for wings back here"

The blonde Turk blushed and laughed a bit.

"Oh, Reno. You must think you're quite the charmer, huh?"

"Of course, yo", he replied, still running his fingers over her upper back.

Elena then turned around and began to ruffle Reno's hair.

"What are you doing, yo?"

Elena smirked and replied, "Oh, nothing. Just checking for horns"

-------------

A/N: Isn't Reno just sooo cute? Please review!


	53. Ice Cream

**Reno's Life: Chp 53**

"Hey, 'Leeeeenaaaaa!"

"What is it, Reno?"

Elena looked up from her desk at the red head standing in front of her. He was smiling smugly with a strawberry ice cream cone in his right hand. Reno took a couple of licks and grinned.

"I got ice cream, yo"

"Congratulations", the blonde responded sarcastically.

"I got ice cream and you don't"

"So?"

"So it's _killing _you, yo. You wish you were me right now, don't you?"

"No, I don't. I don't want ice cream right now, Reno"

"I got ice cream and you don't! I got ice cream and you don't! I got ice cream and you don't!" he chanted childishly.

"I have work to do, Reno, so please stop being so annoying and leave"

"I got ice cream! And 'Lena wishes she did too! But she doesn't! Ha ha! Ha ha!"

"Reno, quit it!"

"Lovely, lovely ice cream! Delicious, ice cold ice cream!"

"Reno!"

"Iiiiiceeee creaaaaam!"

"Stop it!"

Reno took a few licks and laughed. "It's sooooo good! Delicious!"

"RENO!"

"Would you like a lick, 'Lena?"

"...What?"

"I said, would you like a lick?"

Reno held out the ice cream cone and smiled innocently. The blonde stood silent for a few seconds, thinking to herself. She tested him by leaning in for it, then pausing to see if he'd pull it away, but he did not.

"What? You don't want it, yo?"

The blonde hesitated, then stuck out her tongue to taste the frozen strawberry goodness, but Reno snatched the ice cream away and laughed.

"Yeah, right! Ahahahahahaha!!"

He took a few more licks while still laughing. Elena, now infuriated, slapped the ice cream cone out of his hands and it fell to the ground with a small wet squish.

"W-Wha-?"

Reno stared at his hand, then the ice cream on the ground in disbelief and the blonde smirked.

"No more ice cream! No more ice cream! No more ice cream! Ha ha ha ha!!"

Elena laughed almost evilly and went back to work.

What Reno did next was unexpected by the blonde Turk.

He picked the ice cream cone up from the ground, kissed it, and held it up in the air. After a few seconds in the air, he licked it again.

"Ha ha! It's clean now! I have ice cream again! Ha ha! Ha ha!! And it tastes even betteeeer!"

Elena slapped her forehead and sighed.

"Disgusting..."

Sometimes she felt like she worked with a six year old.

-------------------

A/N: I'm back! And no, I didn't die. School...The cursed school!! Ever since I've started college, I've had nothing but work! I've been so busy, I haven't had time to even LOOK at this for a very, very long time. I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to update. And I apologize to all those who sent questions to the Ask Reno fic. I promise you, I'm working on them every free moment I get. That fic should be updated pretty soon, so watch out for it! I sure am glad to be back.

Anyway, this fic was fun to write! Do you guys remember dropping food on the ground when you were little and kissing it and holding it up after picking it up? I used to! Now that I think back on it, it was pretty gross...Ew...I don't suggest trying it. I used to do that before I heard of the five second rule. It's still all gross...Bleh! Please review!!


	54. Work

**Reno's Life: Chp 54**

Reno walked into the employee lounge and yawned loudly. His work day just started and he was going to get some coffee to wake him up.

Upon entering the room, he saw that nobody made a pot of coffee yet, so he went to the fridge in the corner of the room, swung open the door, and picked out a dark blue coffee can. He opened it and frowned. It had just enough to make just one last pot of coffee.

"Good morning, Reno"

Tseng walked into the lounge and gave his fellow Turk a friendly smile. Reno smiled weakly back (since he felt that it was too early in the morning to smile anyway) and went to make the coffee. The dark haired Turk quietly poured water into his coffee mug, then placed it in the microwave for heating. He pushed a few buttons and waited patiently.

Reno poured what was left in the coffee can into the coffee maker and just as he was about to toss it out, Tseng spoke.

"Oh, that's finished? Make sure you toss it out in the recycling bin, not the regular trash can. I think that one coffee can will fill it up, though. No matter. Just make sure to tie up the bag once it's full, then carry it downstairs to the waste disposal room. Since you'll be down there, you can pick up the Turks' mail from the mailroom instead of waiting for it to be brought up later. Oh, and make sure to take the paper label off of the can first before tossing it out! Things are easier that way. And once you come back, put another bag in the recycling bin. And I think we have another can of coffee grounds in the cabinet up there, so if you could just put it in the fridge, that'll be great. Thank you"

The microwave beeped and Tseng took the hot cup of water out. He poured some things into it and left the lounge with a delicious smelling drink.

"See you later, Reno."

Reno watched Tseng leave, then once he was down the hall and safely in his office, the red head poured the coffee grounds back into the can and shoved it hastily back into the fridge.

"...It ain't worth it"

-------------------------

A/N: Another chapter! w00t!! Please review!


	55. Tricks

**Reno's Life: Chp 55**

"Uncle Reno! Uncle Reno!"

Reno looked down and saw a little Marlene tugging at his shirt. He smiled at her and pet her head, ruffling her hair a bit.

"What is it, Marlene?"

"I wanna show you a cool trick I learned!"

"Hm…. Alright, yo. Sounds interesting. What is it?"

Marlene pulled his shirt, wanting him to crouch down in front of her. He went down onto one knee and looked directly at her. She picked up his hands and held them in front of his face.

"Okay! Now, do what I do!"

She held up her own little hands in front of her face and slowly moved her index fingers towards each other, carefully concentrating on the tips with her eyes. Once they touched, she smiled.

"Do just that!"

"Why?"

"Because it's an optical illusion! If you do it, you'll see something cool!"

Reno hesitated a bit, then began to move his index fingers towards each other. Once they were close to touching, Marlene snatched them with her left hand and slapped him on the forehead with her right.

"Ha ha! Gotcha!"

She laughed and dashed into the kitchen of the bar. The red-haired Turk rubbed his forehead and stared at the kitchen in disbelief. Did she just fool him? The prankster of ShinRa tricked by a little girl? He had to redeem himself somehow.

Tifa walked out of the kitchen a few seconds later, holding a tray of glasses and looking a bit puzzled.

"Oh! Hello, Reno! Marlene walked into the kitchen a while ago, laughing. Did you tell her a joke or something?"

There was his chance. Inside, he was grinning mischievously, but outside, he looked completely innocent.

"No, no. She just showed me a trick she learned, yo. Want to see it?"

"Sure!"

Reno wanted to laugh. It was all too easy.

"Alright. Now, pick up your hands like this, yo"

He demonstrated by picking up his hands and holding them close to his face. Tifa watched carefully and did the same.

"Good! Now, move your index fingers slowly together, like so and the t-"

Suddenly, Tifa grabbed his fingers and slapped him in the forehead. Reno gasped and covered his forehead in shock.

"W-What the-?!"

Tifa smiled and picked up the tray.

"Who do you think taught her that trick?"

-----------------------

A/N: That's right! You're not dreaming! It's a triple chapter update!! I feel really bad for taking forever to update both Reno fics, so I wrote up three new chapters (now I'm behind in school! Kidding!). This one was a lot of fun. I LOVE this trick so much! It's so unexpected since there really is an optical illusion trick that works like this. I'm grateful for all comments given from the readers. Thank you all so much! Please review!!


	56. Gifts

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Final Fantasy VII!

* * *

**Reno's Life: Chp 56**

Reno peeked out from behind the corner of the office hallway and looked around suspiciously. Once he saw that the hall was empty of people, he dashed out from his hiding spot behind the wall. He was holding a HUGE pink teddy bear with a big sparkly silver ribbon around its neck. The bear was a little over half Reno's size and double his body width. The doll's long pink limbs flailed wildly as Reno ran, knocking against his body and almost making him trip as he made a dash for his office. Once he was inside, he tossed the bear onto his messy desk (knocking over a bunch of papers) and slammed his door shut.

"Whew! I did it, yo"

"Did what?"

Reno leaped a good five feet into the air out of shock. Once he landed, he whipped around and put a hand to his chest.

"R-Rude! Don't do that, yo!"

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me!"

"...I didn't. I just walked in through the front door"

"How come I didn't hear you open it?"

Rude just shrugged and Reno shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. Look at what I got 'Lena for her birthday! She's going to love it, yo!"

Reno held up the big pink bear and grinned proudly. "It took me a few weeks to find the perfect gift, but I did it"

Rude frowned.

"That thing is a bit...scary"

"What do you mean, yo?"

"Well, for starters, I think that bear has blood dripping from his mouth. And its long claws are also dripping blood."

"But isn't it cute?"

"Cute? Are you serious? Reno, the thing is frightening"

"Who couldn't love this thing?"

"I don't know about this"

"Do you really think she would want something different?"

"I don't think normal women like teddy bears with blood dripping from their fangs and claws as gifts"

Reno lowered the bear in his arms and frowned. "...I really thought she would like this..."

"How about this? It's early. Why don't we go out together and pick something she might like?"

"Oh...Okay, yo. Let's go"

Reno put the bear in his chair and left the office with Rude. A few minutes later, Elena walked into his office with a large stack of files in her arms piled high enough to cover her face.

"G-Guys! Could you help me with these? Please?"

No response.

"Guys?"

Silence. Elena sighed and dropped the pile of papers on Reno's desk with an angry sigh.

"Ugh! I swear, that guy could never be found when you need-"

The blonde Turk froze and stared at the pink teddy bear that stared back at her with shiny black eyes. She looked at the blood dripping from his mouth and all over his long, knife-like claws and...smiled.

"G-Gloomy bear!!"

Elena giggled like a little girl and picked the bear up from its seat. She happily tossed him into the air, caught him, and spun him around a bit.

"Oh my gosh, this thing is so cute! Such a cuddly doll! I wonder why Reno has this thing in his office?"

She gave it a little kiss, then put it back on its chair.

"Hm...The ribbon makes it look like a gift. Aw, I wonder who the lucky person is..."

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A/N: I'm baaaaaack! After disappearing for like the fifth time! I apologize to all of my fans for just leaving like that. I'm_ especially _sorry for not updating Ask Reno. College life is such a busy, stressful life! I'm surprised I haven't fallen over with a heart attack or something by now. I've also been busy obsessing over Death Note (which is the best anime/manga EVER!). I've been obsessing over it for the longest, but I'm extra busy with it now because I'm beginning to write fanfiction about it, so make sure to look out for those!

Anyway, I'm back and I'm going to try my hardest to get more chapters out to you guys. Thank you to all of my fans for being so patient with me! Please review and always remember that suggestions are always welcome! They help me with ideas!!


	57. Videos

**Reno's Life: Chp 57**

"Right here, Uncle Reno?"

"There's just fine, yo"

Marlene placed a skateboard on the ground in front of Reno and backed away a few feet. Denzel was standing next to Marlene with a video camera in hand.

"Ready, Uncle Reno?"

"You bet. Is it recording?"

"Yeah!"

"What is going on in here?"

Tifa entered the room with a silver tray in her arms and looked at them all curiously. Marlene ran up to her and hugged her tightly.

"Tifa! We're all going to make a funny video and send it in to that tv show to win money!"

"Yeah!" Denzel agreed. "Reno said he's gonna help us!"

"Oh, is he?"

"You bet, yo!" He put one foot on the skateboard and grinned.

"Well, that sounds fun. What's he going to do?"

"I'm going to jump onto this skateboard as hard as he could and see what happens!"

"Um, that sounds a bit dangerous, Reno..."

"Ah, I'll be fine. I've bumped my head quite a few times and I'm still alive, right?"

"I guess, but..."

"Don't worry! It'll be easy! Still recording, Denzel?"

"You bet!"

"Wait! Uncle Reno! I think it would be funnier if you put the skateboard in front of the doorway and act as if you walked in on it by accident!"

"Good thinking, Marlene. I'll do just that, yo"

Reno kicked the skateboard in front of the doorway and just as he started heading after it, he heard someone running towards the room and calling out from the hall.

"I'm back, and I have something urgent to- GAH!"

Cloud, who was the one who dashed into the room, accidentally stepped onto the skateboard and it raced forward. He crashed into the coffee table which was sitting in the middle of the room and fell onto it, instantly snapping it in two. The skateboard flew out before Cloud hit the ground and slammed into a table, which had a crystal bowl full of peaches sitting on the edge.

"My favorite bowl!", Tifa cried.

The spiky blonde jumped up from the ruined coffee table and dove to catch it. He narrowly missed, causing it to fall onto his head after pummeling him with large, heavy, hard round fruits.

Cloud sat up and lifted the bowl off of his head, revealing an angry, murderous glowing eyes.

Marlene, Denzel, Tifa, and Reno stared at Cloud with wide eyes.

"U-Um...I have to clean my room!", Marlene said, racing out of the room.

"I have to help!", Denzel said, running after her.

"I have to help them clean Marlene's room!", Tifa said, following the children.

"...I hope we got that on tape, yo!"

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**Bonus Chapter!**

Sephiroth was sitting quietly at his desk, working hard on his paperwork, when suddenly he saw the door to his office open slightly. But before he could get a good look at who was there, a barrage of water balloons shot at him, hitting him directly in the face, chest, and arms.

The attacker fled from the scene before Sephiroth even knew what (or who) hit him. The silver haired general looked down at his soggy paper work and growled. Five hours of work, gone. Just like that.

Sephiroth jumped out of his chair and over the desk in a single leap. He kicked the door to his office open and ran out of the room in search of this practical joker.

Meanwhile, Zack was in the hallway, on his way to the president's office to give him a bunch of files he's recently completed. He held the three folders under his left arm and had his hands in his pockets.

Cloud turned a corner, ran towards the dark-haired Soldier, and tossed a few water balloons at him. Zack held up his hands and instantly caught them.

"Don't you know that's no good, Spiky? You're not fast enough to hit me! Especially when I see you throw 'em like that. Eh?"

The blonde ran right past him and around a different corner. Zack looked down at the balloons in his hands, then up again, and gasped. He dropped them and tried to run away, but it was no good.

A very wet and very, very, very angry Sephiroth caught him by his collar and held him up a few good inches from the ground.

"So you're the culprit"

"W-What?!"

"You think you could have gotten away with that?"

"With w-what?"

"Don't play stupid with me! You're going to stay here after work and finish up every single of my reports that you drenched. Do you hear me?"

"But I-"

"Do you hear me?!"

"Y-Yes sir..."

Cloud smirked at Zack from around the corner and held up a sign scribbled with red sharpie.

'April Fools Revenge >=)'

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A/N: Another chapter! Yay!! So, this is the early April Fools Day chapter a.k.a. Cloud's revenge on Zack. I posted it early so I won't forget to post on on April 1st (I have a few papers due then, so I'm going to be really busy). Enjoy!!

Anyway, I can't WAIT for tomorrow! That's when Crisis Core is coming out and I already have the money all saved up for it!! I'm sooooo excited! 'specially since Sephy's gonna be in it! w00t w00t! I want to celebrate! Who's with me??

Thank you all for the lovely reviews! I love you all!! Please continue to review!

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